Tuesday, January 5, 2010

AVATAR reviews

GOLAN: Okay. So. AVATAR. Here's my quick review: The characters were cliched, the story has been done to death, the running time was long, the dialogue was ridiculous, the music was overbearing and... I loved every minute of it! This is not a movie about characters, or plot, or anything approaching a story. This is a movie about special effects, and in that regard, it succeeded in spades. Years from now, when this technology is more commonplace, this movie will be remembered for being a pioneer, but will not be one that people watch religiously like STAR WARS. STAR WARS, for what it's worth, has some dated special effects and some fairly bad acting, but the story is so cool and the characters are so strong and the writing is so good, that decades later, it is still just as beloved as it was when it was first released. AVATAR does not have that. I even laughed out loud at a lot of what was being said because it was so stupid. Just the name Unobtainium alone almost made me wet myself. Also, it's not good when you are looking forward to watching main characters die. Right, Michelle Rodriguez? What did you think of it?

BRIAN: Yeah, Michelle Rodriguez was horrible, but the irony is she was born to be in a James Cameron movie. She's the lovechild of Linda Hamilton and Sigourney Weaver. I can't wait to see her as Jodie Foster's son/daughter in PANIC ROOM 2. Still, really good movie-going experience. I haven't been transported like that since THE NEW WORLD (you hate me) or LOTR. And for me, the reason why AVATAR wasn't completely enveloping was the music. STAR WARS, of course, has one of the great scores ever, but I felt there were no melodies in AVATAR. Just incidental music. And bombastic incidental music at that. Just bad and assaulting. And this is James Horner! The master at composing manipulative, crescendo-riffic themes. I'm more pissed off than Celine Dion about his failure to write one pretty melody a hack lyricist could plug vague words into and make an Oscar-winning song. Hang on, let me try it:

Heeeere, Noooooow, a moment of bliss!
For tomorrow the Earth shall not know this...

Wouldn't that fucking rock with a James Horner melody wrapped around it? Now imagine that song with dialogue from the movie during the instrumental bridges! "I see you..." That line, by the way, is my favorite part. James Cameron was so pleased with himself when he wrote that scene in TITANIC that this was like an homage to himself. If you don't know which scene, and I'm sure you do remember, I'd like to describe it for you. Rose is flipping through Jack's charcoal drawing sketch book, realizing that she is in the midst of a great artist (the charcoal sybolizes both his impoverished social status, as well as that burning feeling in her loins).

Rose: You have a gift, Jack. You do. You see people.
Jack: I see you....................

................now let's go do it in a car. Iceberg!! CRASH!! Social commentary on the rich and the poor! Our hearts will go on. Good movie. Watching AVATAR though, I felt my hawkish opinions about Iraq completely dissuaded. I think the war was a mistake now. All thanks to James Cameron. What have we done, America? WHAT HAVE WE DONE?

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