I Liked The Trailer Better

Belated Top Nine(s) of 2011 part one (#10 - #5)

2012-02-23T17:16:00.002-08:00

Editor's Note: Welcome to I Liked The Trailer Better’s Best Films of 2011 round-up, brought to you just in time for the Oscars. In honor of the industry’s failure to produce ten movies worthy of Best Picture consideration, we present our own Top Nine list. By the way, how shitty do the movies not nominated for Best Picture feel? One can no longer be consoled by the thought that it was a highly competitive year and there just wasn’t enough room to fit in all the year’s masterpieces. Nope! Let’s stop at nine, says the Academy. Yeah, we’re good with nine. It’s like asking Suzy to prom and getting turned down. If it’s because she already said yes to a date, well, it happens. But if it turns out she’s going alone, LOVE HURTS I HATE YOU SUZY I WRITE A BLOG NOW SO WHATEVER.

First, we have some explaining to do. To all our loyal reader(s!!!), we know: we haven’t written in two years. So here’s what happened. In the spring of 2010, McFilmerstein was interviewing for a studio exec job. It went really well. He nailed his greatest weakness question and everything. Alas, when he got back in touch with the very powerful would-be boss, he was informed that several entries he’d written on this very blog were in poor taste (particularly when directed at the movies of that very powerful would-be boss), and that despite his many qualifications, the studio would hire someone else. Shit. So we stopped writing.

But now we’re back! McFilmerstein will be writing under his new pseudonym to protect his good name and standing in the industry. Brian will continue using his real name, as he does not have any standing within the industry (a quick inventory of his Top Nine will give you an idea as to why). In fact, while McFilmerstein was spiraling into a deep depression over lost opportunities due to the blog, Brian was secretly thrilled to know that people were actually reading his words. That’s so cool, he thought. I’m fucking famous, he further thought.

Without further ado, our Top Nine list:

MCFILMERSTEIN: Now that the intro and explanation is out of the way, I'll dive right in. Now that I'm anonymous, I can be totally honest and not worry about retribution. Unless anyone read this blog before. Then I'm screwed.

My #9: THE IDES OF MARCH.

Cloon. I'll explain. I first saw this as a play onstage here in LA starring Chris Pine, and it blew me away. Clearly written by someone who knew what they were talking about (the playwright had worked for Howard Dean and Charles Schumer), it peeled back the onion on the gameplay of politics in a fun and inventive way.

Now, admittedly, nothing in the play, or the movie, was particularly groundbreaking (politicians are liars!, political advisors are Machiavellian!, Ryan Gosling has nice abs!), but somehow still felt fresh and new. The dialogue pops and sparkles. It's topical, smart and exciting. But more than any of that, it's cynical. And I love that. Cynicism is the new black, as far as I'm concerned.

Movies like this always end up being favorites of mine – they end up telling us something we already know, but doing it in such a way that you still feel exhilarated at the revelation and crushed by the inevitable conclusion. And in this case, it even works on a global scale. This movie is about politics, to be sure, but it also represents America as a whole. What we're willing to do to get ahead, who we're willing to screw, what we're willing to cover up. How we treat our friends, our employees, our allies, our constituents. It's all folded into this great drama and expertly helmed with nuanced direction by Cloon and brilliantly acted by all (even Gosling, who wasn't as good as Pine was onstage).

Brian?

BRIAN: So, yeah. I haven’t seen IDES OF MARCH, so I’m just gonna do my best in reply to everything you just said. Here goes:

Politics! It really corrupts, you know? How ‘bout that Mitt Romney?
According to the Wikipedia page of FARRAGUT NORTH, the play is named after “a Washington Metro Station, on the Red Line,” which is pretty interesting stuff.
Clooney looks really serious in all the commercials I saw for IDES OF MARCH.
And when the commercial reveals Paul Giamatti to be an actor in the film, I have to admit: I did not see that one coming, for I had not realized who else was in the movie aside from poster boys Clooney and Gosling.
Politics!
Re: Gosling, seriously?! It’s like he’s Photoshopped!
Steve Carrell looks really funny in the movie, as well.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Glad we agree on IDES OF MARCH. That's what you were saying, wasn't it? Whatever. Who. Cares. What's your #9?

BRIAN: #9. MONEYBALL.

I’ve never seen a sports movie like this. Yes, it’s a story about underdog losers who still end up losing, but that’s not what makes it so unconventional. It flips the genre on its head, reimagining it for the digital age. Sports films are generally character pieces – we become involved in the athlete’s personal life, and what is happening off the field correlates with what’s happening during the games. This formula implies a causal relationship, as if the protagonist’s personal demons are solely responsible for the team’s struggles. MONEYBALL rejects this simplification. It’s the anti-character piece. It strips away all the fluff we use to weave a narrative together and reduces it all to math. In other words, the film is a closer representation of how we now consume sports, scanning the box score after games and trying to make sense of the win or the loss.

And while the film doesn’t arrive at a conventionally satisfying conclusion (the so-called revolutionary method doesn’t carry the team to a championship, ultimately), I find the lack of a convincing answer rather moving. For the film poses an unanswerable question: how do we measure our lives? Our happiness? Success? Our lives are messy. Indeed, the stat sheet is messy. So how are we supposed to find some sort of meaning in all that mess? The sabre metrics employed by the A’s staff zeroes in on one meaningful stat (on-base percentage) and willfully disposes of all the other data. In the final scene, when faced with the decision to take a new job and accept its lucrative salary, Billy Beane weighs all the factors until we see him zero in on the one thing that gives his life meaning: his daughter, her voice singing on a cassette tape. The camera zooms in (zeroes in) on his eyes, very tight, and holds. All the other data in the frame goes away – his expression, the scenery, the road. The answer is fleeting, just as fluid as the tears in his eyes. It’s a perfect lasting image. And one of the best closing shots in recent movie memory.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I'll discuss MONEYBALL more when I get there, but suffice it to say that I loved it. I will admit that the first time I saw it, I wasn't sure what to think. I remember enjoying it, but I saw it with someone who hated it, and it threw me off. I remember walking out of the theater wishing it had been more conventionally plotted, more riddled with sports movie cliches, more MIGHTY DUCKS-y, if you will. And then I saw it again, and realized I was dead wrong. It was beautiful in its complex execution, full of soul and wit, and also had two of my favorite performances of the year in it.

We're not really arguing yet, are we? I hope we start to disagree soon or this is going to get pretty boring.

BRIAN: I mean, I have no desire to watch IDES OF MARCH, if one couldn’t tell from my response to it. That probably counts as disagreement.

MCFILMERSTEIN: That's right. I forgot. If it's popular and doesn't star a tall blue horse monkey or a dead Oscar winner, you don't want to watch it. Yeah, that'll work as our first argument.

And so, without further ado, my #8:

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED

Oh wait... no... no, that's not right. What I meant was:

TREE OF LIFE.

This one is a cool one to discuss, because I love it and hate it equally. It's audacious, to be sure, when anyone tries to do a big “Life, the Universe and Everything” kind of movie, but in the hands of Malick, it almost works. Yes, I said almost. There are portions of this movie that are as metaphysical as anything I've ever seen caught on film, and there are portions that over-reach and fall flat on their faces. The difference between this movie, and most other movies that sometimes try super hard and fall short, is that when this one failed, I still applauded it's temerity at trying to begin with.

That's actually a good way to summarize my feelings for the movie: I admired Malick for simply going there. Sure, that means when he failed, he failed huge, but it also means that when he succeeded, he was able to transcend cinema in new and exciting ways. I mean, who else working today could have made this film? No one. It's rare when pretentious, powerful, messy, stunning, incoherent and sophisticated can all be applied equally to the same film, and I love that.

Let me put it this way. I'm not a religious guy, but sitting through this movie for me was like a religious experience.

BRIAN: Whoa! McFilmerstein! I’m pleasantly surprised to hear you like this movie. Truth be told, I’m a little surprised you even went to see it. I would have pictured you nodding off during the cosmos montage, only to have your date elbow you whenever Brad Pitt comes on the screen, whispering, “Look, look! It’s Mr. Smith!”

But you loved it. Yeah, me too. I also found it imperfect. But I don’t think any of it failed for me, nor do I think Malick is overreaching at all. I just thought some of afterlife stuff looked a little trite (the walking on the beach, the deserted door frame). Curious to hear where you thought the film failed.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I think maybe you agree with my assessment, only your terminology is different. For instance, some of the imagery in the metaphysical sections you reference above was a bit on the nose. I don't mind literal imagery at times, but it seems to me that when someone is pushing the envelope as far as Malick is in this film, there's no reason to rely on old chestnuts to get you by. Especially when it didn't feel like he cared if anyone understood what he meant by any of it. I have my own interpretations, but I also have a hunch that if I told any of them to Malick, he would chuckle at me and not even give me the courtesy of an answer. I know you'll take me to task for this, but I would have liked more character development. I wanted more of Sean Penn, more of Brad Pitt – more of all of the actors, actually. I didn't mind the half an hour of non-actory stuff either, but I did feel like some of it could have been swapped out for more time developing the story of the core family without sacrificing the message that Malick was trying to get across.

As a side note, since I forgot to mention it earlier, the cinematography in this movie is sooooooooooooooo good. Emmanuel Lubezki is a freaking master. And if he loses the Oscar, it will only be because black and white is gorgeous, and because so many people hated this movie.

BRIAN: Oh god, less of Sean Penn. Much, much less. Like, THIN RED LINE cameo less.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I don't know if you would want less of Sean Penn if you actually got to know him a little better. As it stands now, it's all wistful looks. But let's move on. Enough about me. What's your #8?

BRIAN: #8. THE ARTIST.

It might be pointless to sing its praises considering it’s a lock to bring home Best Picture on Sunday, so instead, I’ll address the backlash bandwagon. The film’s detractors charge that its appeal is merely one of nostalgia, blindly paying tribute to a bygone era. Sure, but even as the movie romanticizes the past, it is also about the dangers of doing so – even suggesting that honoring the past is often indistinguishable from fetishizing it (the repurposing of the Vertigo score, another common complaint, is surely not accidental in the scene it plays over).

The theme of nostalgia has been noted in this year’s crop of awards movies, but I don’t think THE ARTIST is guilty of pandering to this in the same way that HUGO is. Scorsese is a known film preservationist, but his movie felt too precious about the early silent films, and as a result of embalming the subject matter with the love of a film historian, those films felt mummified rather than resurrected. THE ARTIST, somehow, feels alive and contemporary.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Love me some ARTIST. I'll discuss soon enough. But I will say this: I love it when you say “fetishizing.”

BRIAN: For the uninitiated, our loyal readers bet on the over/under for how many homoerotic exchanges we do in a given entry. Including McFilmerstein’s elongated spelling of “sooooooooooooooo good” in his description of MONEYBALL’s cinematography, the running count thus far is 5.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Our record so far is 35 in a single post. And I think Brian's capitalization of “BALL” in MONEYBALL counts as #6, and his use of the word “elongated” counts as #7. We're on track to bust this record wide open. Annnnnd that's #8.

Speaking of numbers, my #7 is a tie (and there's a reason):

BEGINNERS and THE WAY

BEGINNERS was a film I didn't think was perfect, but the three lead performances and the film's heart push it over the top for me. In THE WAY, the lead performance by Martin Sheen sold me, as did the film's heart. See? These two films are connected! And they're both about father/son relationships – in BEGINNERS, it's about how a father's radical decision affects the son's life, and in THE WAY, it's about how a son's radical decision affects the father's life. And *BOOM*, I just blew your mind.

Brian, you know that I am a pushover for sentimentality. I cry at the movies (and at TV, for that matter) more than any grown man should. But neither of these are cloyingly sweet or overly sentimental, despite their occasional dalliances with clichés and gimmicks. In BEGINNERS, Ewan McGregor does a great job as a man coming to terms with the hand life has dealt him, Melanie Laurent shines (as she has since I discovered her in INGLORIOUS BASTERDS) and Christopher Plummer gives an Oscar-winning performance (oops, did I spoil the surprise?) as an older man, diagnosed with cancer, who is finally living the life he always wanted. Plummer's role struck me in particular – so much so, that I wish more time had been dedicated to the father/son relationship in the film. Which isn't to say that I would want to trade in any of the time that McGregor and Laurent share, as their story is equally touching. In THE WAY, Sheen gives a performance that rivals any I've seen him give. If the film had been with Fox Searchlight instead of self-distributed, he would surely be looking down the barrel of – at the very least – a Best Actor Nomination.

Having really disliked both director's last films (THUMBSUCKER and BOBBY, respectively), I went in to both with relatively low expectations, and was really moved and impressed by both films. They both made me want to call my dad, who promptly told me I was wasting my time working in this stupid industry. *sigh*

BRIAN: What the fuck is THE WAY? Hang on, I have to give you shit about this. Is this one of your projects? It is, isn’t it?! Or, no. Is it because you’re doing a movie with Martin Sheen and you’re trying to raise his stock to up your development fee? You’re incredible. I had never seen an ad for that film until now. Admittedly, that’s because I don’t watch Huell Howser on PBS.

MCFILMERSTEIN: A random sampling:

“Martin Sheen in THE WAY is the longest of shots in the Oscar field, and still one of the most deserving.” - Pete Hammond, Deadline.com

“It's a quiet, believable performance, the best of his storied career. Martin Sheen certainly deserves the Oscar for this role.” - John Dear, National Catholic Reporter

“Shoulda Been a Contender for the Oscar: Martin Sheen for THE WAY” - Scott Feingberg, Hollywood Reporter

“My father, Martin Sheen, is currently starring in THE WAY... and he has given the best performance of his career!” - Charlie Sheen

Suck it, Tran. What's your number 7?

BRIAN: #7: MELANCHOLIA.

Depression’s symptoms are not easily identifiable externally and thus can be a very private disease. Lars von Trier gives us a grandiose, operatic realization of this disease. The beautiful symmetry of the unforgettable overture – the blue planet is framed in the same location as the main character’s head in a following shot – suggests that the apocalyptic story of a planet colliding with the Earth can be interpreted as being all in her head, an outward manifestation of her mental state. The paralysis of this affliction is right there in the plot: there’s nowhere to run, and there’s no Michael Bay movie to destroy the oncoming planet either. No flight or fight. The melancholia is inevitable.

One of the observations Lars von Trier is sharing about depression here (it’s widely reported he suffers from it, as if you couldn’t tell from his films) is that depressives tend to act more calmly than others during a crisis. And Justine (a perfect Kirsten Dunst) seems more at ease in the second half of the film (the apocalypse) than the first half (a wedding), which perhaps suggests that depressives desire a crisis. There’s a disconnect when one goes about their day and feels like absolute shit. Indeed, the concerns on Justine’s wedding day are trifling compared to what she’s feeling inside. So when the world is coming to an end, the external circumstances finally match and justify what she’s feeling. Justine seems to welcome the end of the world, as if the planet Melancholia were attracted by the gravitational pull of her mood. Given the coddling sense of comfort one feels in depression, it should come as no surprise that despite the apocalyptic setting, this is von Trier’s warmest, most hopeful film.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I loved Kirsten Dunst in MELANCHOLIA, but overall, I found the film kinda depressing. Yes, yes, I know that sounds like a joke, but it isn’t. I happen to be a fan of Lars Von Trier’s stuff more often than most people – BREAKING THE WAVES is devastatingly amazing, THE IDIOTS was sadly funny and beautiful, it took me a few times to appreciate DANCER IN THE DARK and now I love it, and I thought DOGVILLE was seriously effective and different. I enjoyed this one less, though.

As I said, Dunst’s performance was amazing (I honestly didn’t think she had it in her), and the visuals are haunting and genuinely beautiful (the images in it reminded me of a sadder TREE OF LIFE), but the writing, for me, suffered from on-the-nose syndrome at times, and never seemed to let up. I eventually felt less that I was observing someone succumbing to depression, and more that I was wallowing in it myself. I’m sure many would (and have) praised the film for forcing the viewer to relate so closely to what the main character is going through, but at a certain point, it stopped being interesting and started feeling oppressive.

Funny part is that I don’t disagree with anything you wrote above. I just got tired of the film after a while, despite it all.

BRIAN: But what in particular did you find on-the-nose? I think when a work has some surface symbolism, it gives the viewer the impression that everything else is to be found on the surface as well. Just because the planet is named after the film’s subject matter doesn’t mean we should stop digging deeper for more layered meaning. The work is rich in allusions – to Wagner, Marquis de Sade, and 16^th century paintings – in the overture alone, most of which I’m not familiar with. Even though I feel I was able to unravel the gist of what von Trier is saying, much of the film remains a mystery, inviting me for repeat viewings.

MCFILMERSTEIN: You will be repeat viewing this one on your own. Okay, maybe “on-the-nose” is too harsh. Mostly, some of the metaphors were heavy-handed (the planet being called Melancholia was as trite to me as unobtainium), some of the dialogue didn’t help the film’s cause (“The Earth is evil”) and some of the music choices were obvious (Wagner!), and seemed like devices to me. Look – some of my favorite movies are depressing – this one just left cold.

BRIAN: I loved it. But it might be because I’m miserable. :)

#6. LE HAVRE.

Aki Kaurismaki is a Finnish director making a French film. He doesn’t speak the language, nor did he use a translator on-set. He communicated with his actors by pointing and whistling, and further, never allowed more than two takes. This method sounds like a recipe for some atrocious acting, but in the same way that THE ARTIST reminded us of the pleasures of silent movie acting, LE HAVRE reminds us of how wonderful pre-Method acting is. It took a couple reels for me to get used to, but once I did, I was enchanted. The acting would be described by modern audiences as mannered or stiff. The performances are primarily external, the way a child plays make believe (a legendary French silent film actor plays the lead), and it is your own sense of make believe that leads you by the hand further into the story. You are aware that the story is artificial, and I think that’s Kaurismaki’s point. The plot is entirely contemporary despite its retro style, and its subject matter is potentially grave – a boy from Africa seeks refuge from immigration officials, and the main character’s wife is diagnosed with cancer. But he tells this in a lighthearted way, and the movie has an artificially happy ending. He acknowledges the film’s function as escapism, but only by showing you – and getting you to recognize – how shitty the real world is.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I saw this with you! Yay! That makes me feel all warm inside. Maybe you only liked the movie a little, but sitting next to me in the theater made you feel like you loved it? Awwwww… pookie.

I liked what I saw of LE HAVRE. I fell asleep for part of it (remember the snoring?), but what I saw was really good. I remember laughing, tearing up and gripping my armrest at different times during the film. I also remember the film making me want red wine. I have a hard time imagining this in my top ten, but I do want to point one thing out. You got on me for putting THE WAY into my top ten because it’s obscure, and you are putting LE HAVRE into yours. It’s no wonder that hypocrite and hipster sound so much alike.

BRIAN: Well, this is the first Kaurismaki film I’ve seen, so I’m not familiar with his early work – pretty sure that disqualifies me from being a hipster.Note to reader: LE HAVRE is best enjoyed being awake the entire time. Same with MELANCHOLIA. For TREE OF LIFE, it might be okay to fall sleep during some of the Sean Penn scenes.

Your # 5?

MCFILMERSTEIN: #5. MIDNIGHT IN PARIS.

Much like my #10 in 2010, THE BLIND SIDE, this one is a trifle of a film, but a delightful one at that, and one that stays with you after you've left the theater. It's fun, it's whimsical and it's wish fulfillment at its best. The first time I saw the film, I thought it was merely "cute" - a bouncy diversion - but upon repeat viewings, it occurred to me that it's really a meditation on the dangers of nostalgia, and the fuzzy and selective nature of memory. The casting is pitch perfect, which has long been a staple of Woody Allen's films, and the players contribute to an already sumptuous and beautifully realized world.

I've been a superfan of Woody's work since I first saw CRIMES & MISDEMEANORS as a child, and this doesn't match up with his earlier work (nowhere near, in fact). CRIMES, ANNIE HALL, MANHATTAN, HANNAH AND HER SISTERS (and many others), run far and fast past MIDNIGHT IN PARIS. But if this adorable gem had been made by anyone other than Allen, people (me included, and I suspect even you, Brian) would be hailing this as a creative new voice to watch in the world of cinema.

BRIAN: You can’t say I would’ve liked this had I not viewed it grading on a steep Woody Allen curve. Because that’s impossible, and also, entirely fair to do so. We bring our baggage and expectations into watching a filmmaker’s work – the disappointment if it fails to live up to those expectations, or surprise if it exceeds them, is part of the process. I’d argue that it plays a small hand in pushing the filmmakers to evolve by holding them accountable to their previous work. So if you’re saying the ideal audience member for this is someone who hasn’t seen ANNIE HALL, I’m saying that ideal audience member is a dumbass for not having seen it yet.

And did it really take you repeat viewings for it to dawn on you that it’s “a meditation on the dangers of nostalgia”? Because the theme is right there in the dialogue. This has always been one of my gripes about Allen films: his tendency to verbalize the film’s message. I more or less forgive him for doing this when that message is sophisticated enough to warrant an articulation (in MANHATTAN, Woody’s character spells it all out in his monologue speaking into the tape recorder in the penultimate scene, but what he spells out still manages to be enlightening as it ties disparate through-lines together rather beautifully). But with MIDNIGHT IN PARIS, I found the story to be a one joke series of fake cameos.

MCFILMERSTEIN: First of all, I not only can say that, I did say that. And I think at times, you have to look at a film on the merits, and not on the baggage that everyone involved brings to the table. Also, as a film teacher, I refuse to be the guy who gets down on someone for not having seen something great yet. If this film creates awareness for a whole new audience who had never seen a Woody Allen movie, and it makes them go back and watch all of his earlier greats, then wonderful! I don't call that dumbassery – I call it a new generation of fans. But I digress, because that wasn't really my point – it was just a momentary diversion. The point is that this film isn't as shallow as you believe it to be.

You ask me – incredulously – why it took me repeat viewings to pick up on the theme of the film. Simple. When I first saw it, I saw it alone. I walked away from it thinking that it paled in comparison to other Woody Allen films and that it was merely a “one joke series of fake cameos,” so I dismissed it and didn't even bother to look deeper, even missing (ignoring?) the obvious subtext (and text) of the piece. Then I saw it again, with someone who rather enjoyed it. And somehow watching it a second time allowed me to let go of the notion that this film had to be compared to his previous films. It allowed me to let go of the gimmick and get to the good stuff.

The film is charming as all hell, looks gorgeous and is just fucking fun. So yeah, it's my #5.

And yours?

BRIAN: This is why I tend to watch movies alone. Sometimes I tell myself it’s by choice.

#5. THE FUTURE.

It’s easy to hate Miranda July. She puts herself in her own movies, her work can be mystifying in its experimentation, and the stakes in her stories are incredibly flimsy, inviting the viewer to ask, Why am I supposed to care? Perhaps her voice is better suited for YouTube, a platform for people to put themselves on camera, record everyday things, or experiment with the format and create video clip art. Yet her work in movies is indispensable. I don’t think there’s a filmmaker working today that captures the way we live better than Ms. July.

YouTube figures somewhat prominently in the story. Along with other technological contemporaries that have turned personal pronouns (YouTube, MySpace, iPhone) into prefixes, it has changed how we live by enabling our age of self-absorption and solipsism, turning anyone with Internet access into a writer, filmmaker, photographer, journalist, comedian, radio DJ, musician, critic, curator, or artist. Solipsism is present in the very title of her first film, ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW, with the word and simultaneously separating and connecting. THE FUTURE is about how insignificant me and you feel in the multitude of everyone we know. If the film is dismissed as too slight and insignificant, it’s only in keeping with the ideas she’s exploring here.

An early plot point in the film is when the characters decide to turn off their Internet access, seeking refuge from an all-consuming digital world. Most everything online is ephemeral (activity can be cleared, deleted, revised), and the characters desire to create or hang onto something that lasts. The houses and apartments in the film are filled with bric-a-brac presumably imbued with sentimental value, and the characters quit their jobs to attempt to make some sort of dent in the world. Time is the enemy. It produces change. And the characters who had once desired to change the world are resentful of the change around them in their failure to do so. The film is a moving portrait of artists (and keep in mind, everyone is an artist these days) struggling to be heard in today’s sea of voices. The scene when Ms. July yells out the window to see if someone she’s never met can hear her is what every unknown artist today feels whenever they create something. They have no idea who could be listening, or if any of it is being heard at all.

MCFILMERSTEIN: That sounds great and self-indulgent. What artist wouldn't love that? Haven't seen it though, so I can't comment. But BEGINNERS, my #7 film, was made by her husband, so I still feel closer to you right now.

BRIAN: Pretty sure that was an implied marriage proposal. I can’t wait to tell mother.

MCFILMERSTEIN: She'll totally plotz.

Editor’s note: And that wraps up Part 1. In Part 2, find out what happens when Fredo breaks Michael’s heart. Also find out what films make the Top 4.

KICK-ASS review

2010-04-21T18:38:00.001-07:00

BRIAN: Here’s the concept of the movie: a kid with no superpowers decides to become a superhero. Just ‘cause it’s cool and no one in real life has ever done it before. So it’s a mix of THE DARK KNIGHT and WATCHMEN elements in acknowledging that comics – and the characters that inhabit them – don’t exist in a vacuum (note that I’m pulling from comics that have been made into movies, not the comics themselves, so I could be accused of not knowing what I'm talking about.). Here’s a fanboy who doesn’t just read comics, but aspires to act them out in the real world, promising real world consequences.

Problem is: this dude’s boring. I thought it was the acting at first. They were clearly trying to cast someone like Chuck, who could be believably geeky one moment, but charming and good-looking when the scene called for it. Instead, they cast some kid who failed at both, and therefore made every scene a wash. But it’s not just the acting – I feel the character was really underwritten. I know the whole hook is to have a character with no superpowers, but they gave us a character with no identity. I mean, right? What were they going for? You’re a nerd. Tell me.

MCFILMERSTEIN: First of all, the revelation that I’m a nerd comes as a great shock.

As for me, I liked the concept of someone in a world grounded in reality saying, “Hey, I read comics and I can afford a skin tight suit and mask… why don’t I just go out and fight crime?” then realizing that stab wounds hurt worse than they do in comics, crime isn’t as easy to find as it is in comics (hence the cat search) and death isn’t as cute and fun as it is in comics.

But yeah, this guy was boring. I didn’t know much about this Aaron Johnson guy before this flick came onto my radar. I am aware he’s British and did a few TV shows back home – that’s about it. I’d like to say that’s the issue, as sometimes when British actors do American accents (especially regional dialects like Brooklyn), they either come off as super awesome (like Hugh Laurie as Dr. House on “House, MD” - yes, the show actually has an "MD" in the title) or super boring (like Ioan Gruffudd as Mr. Fantastic (irony much?) in FANTASTIC FOUR. I guess Aaron is one of the super boring ones.

I do disagree with you, though, that they gave him no identity. I mean, didn’t you see all the clichés they put in place to ensure that we as an audience know who he is? He can’t talk to girls, he hangs out with geeks, he’s horny, he’s into superheroes, he likes boobs… why, he’s me! He’s all of us! He’s everyman!

Oh wait… you were right. He has no identity. Throwing a bunch of old chestnuts together does not a fresh summer salad make. Wow, that metaphor was horrible. But you know what I mean, right?

BRIAN: You want me to make you a salad? And you don’t like chestnuts. We’re saying the same thing.

And I’m fine with making Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass a pastiche of every geeky characteristic in the book. In fact, I would have liked to have seen more of that with the superhero identity. Since Dave is an avid comic book reader, it may have been fun to see Kick-Ass as a sloppy mash-up of all his favorite superheroes, e.g. he has the gadgets of Batman, the flight of Superman, the ability to climb walls, etc., and then find an identity all his own as those superpowers don’t pan out since they’re not organic to who he is in real life. And that’s the key. Superpowers are always an extension of who the non-superhero is. And since Dave is such a boring character, I don’t see what that superpower could really be.

As with any superhero, the question is why. What drives the character? What compels Bruce Wayne or Peter Parker to put on a silly outfit and risk their life fighting crime? In the case of Kick-Ass, it’s the fantasy element. That’s a cool concept because I’m sure many in the audience identify with that. But they don’t do enough with that. Dave Lizewski should be a mix of the fat Star Wars lightsaber video kid, the Columbine killers, and a hardcore Batman worshipper. We don’t get the humor of the Star Wars kid (well, I guess they tried…we see Dave practicing his moves in front of a mirror, but the joke falls flat). We don’t get the dark detachment/escape from reality that the Columbine killers had – again, there are hints of that, but nothing too removed from what most kids fantasize about. I mean, if Dave is the first to put on a costume and actually try to be a superhero, he needs to be far more weird and crazy than just your average teenager. And we don’t even get that he consumes comic books the way some do – he should know every fact and tidbit and obscure trivia informing who he is, but they barely even talk about comic books in the movie.

MCFILMERSTEIN: You’re dead right. The problem is that the clichés they did go with were not the ones that truly defined him as a fanboy with a rich fantasy life – simply as a geeky teenager. For example, the Atomic Comics hangout seemed like a place where everyone went, not just comic book geekazoids. Even his love interest admits that she doesn’t read comics, doesn’t like superheroes, but still goes there for their tasty beverages.

Honestly, I would have liked to have seen Dave really enjoying himself at the beginning of the Kick-Ass process, before he realizes that consequences are real. And I mean enjoying himself. As in, smiling crazy, hardly able to contain his sheer fanboy giggling in between blows as he swings his batons around wildly with utter abandon and zero training.

If this character is meant to be a kid who worships superheroes to the point where he feels like he has to become one himself, then you are right… Kick-Ass (the character) should have been a cobbled together pastiche of all the best (or coolest) elements from existing comic book characters that eventually boils down to the heart of who Dave really is. I mean, at least have him doing a ridiculous Christian Bale/Batman growly voice when he’s in costume as an homage to how audiences see their superheroes. Because Dave is, at his core, meant to be one of those audience members, absorbing not the world of crime-fighting, but the world of make-believe.

Maybe I should put on tights and fight crime. I think that idea is gold. I’d be almost as adorable as Hit Girl, who I genuinely liked, especially in the doses we got her. Thoughts?

BRIAN: Hit Girl was awesome. If the movie was about how comics interact with real life and don’t exist in a vacuum, I like the idea of a character who essentially grew up in a comic book vacuum, completely sheltered from real people and real situations. When she goes to school for the first time at the end of the movie, her response to the school bullies was perfect. I want a movie all about her now! Instead of a high school kid adjusting to new found superpowers, we get a superhero having to adjust to high school. Awesome. Someone write that shit!

It kind of creeps me out though that the actress is #1 on the IMDb STARmeter. Let’s hope the villain in the next movie is a pedophile so we can see Hit Girl castrate him to the tune of “Oh Bondage Up Yours!” or some other yelly girl song.

MCFILMERSTEIN: To clarify – and I think we’re on the same page here – you want a movie about Hit Girl now, right? Now that she’s done crime fighting and is trying to be a regular kid? Not before – like an origin story, or a movie version of that comic book that her dad drew? Because I agree – I’d rather see a movie about a superhero trying to be normal than a movie about a normal kid trying to be a superhero.

Years ago, I was trying to set up this project based on a manga series (and later an animated series) titled FULL METAL PANIC!, which was about this teenaged anti-terrorist special forces soldier superspy that is assigned to protect a high school girl by posing as a student himself. The interesting thing to me about the main character was that the kid had been raised 100% in a military environment. From the time he was crawling, he was being trained how to be a killing machine – how to sense and stop threats, how to control a dangerous situation, etc. You would think, since he was able to master those difficult tasks, going undercover as a high schooler would be easy… but since he doesn’t know how to act his age, nor deal with other normal teenagers, nor handle peacefully the bullshit politics of high school, he ends up screwing things up left and right. He constantly looks like a nutjob or a social reject as he solves his everyday teen problems with violence or general over-reactions. When someone launches a spitball at him, he counters by essentially putting the kid into the hospital. When he misses his stop on the schoolbus, he kicks out a window and leaps from the moving vehicle. Things like that. Yeah, I’d watch that. I think Mandalay just optioned the property so maybe we’ll get to see this one someday.

What the hell was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, KICK-ASS.

Hit Girl was fun. Really glad she wasn’t in more of the movie, though – too much is as bad as too little. Too little sugar means you’re missing out – too much will rot your teeth.

I’m re-reading our review here and it makes it seem like we hated this movie. I don’t think either of us flat-out hated it. I rather liked certain elements (especially the Hit Girl stuff), and even found myself gasping with sheer exhilaration at times. That being said, there were a lot of things I didn’t love.

As a huge Matthew Vaughn fan who was excited when he was the director that was supposed to bring THOR to the screen, I was disappointed in the poor direction of Kick-Ass’ fight scenes, which played like outtakes from BATMAN BEGINS or QUANTUM OF SOLACE. His first full fight in the parking lot had so many cuts in close-up that, instead of displaying Kick-Ass’ ineptitude as a fighter, the scene made it look like he was more than holding his own, and even dominating sometimes. I would have rather seen these fight sequences in a wide shot to really illustrate just how blundering and ham-fisted Dave really is. Having had some fight training, I can say with some authority that people are taught how to anticipate punches and kicks by watching body language, but when someone has no clue how to fight and simply flails about willy-nilly while holding something as lethal as billy clubs, even a trained fighter might think twice because there’s no rhyme or reason to it. That’s the Kick-Ass we should have seen – just happy to be there and full of random idiotic energy. That’s how someone that has no training and no skill and no coordination wins a fight. And since they stressed time and again throughout the flick how this was the real world and not a comic book world, I would have appreciated a fight sequence shot and cut in a way that made it realistic in that regard.

Last thing I’ll say, and then I’ll pass the baton back to you to wrap it up: I liked Nicholas Cage in this movie. I thought he was just the right touch of crazy, just the right touch of Adam West and just the right touch of badass. This is significant because I hate Nicholas Cage. I think he and Joel Schumacher and Akiva Goldsman should form a production company called Crappy Films and make movies that inexplicably open at number one until the apocalypse brings sweet death to us all. And I liked him!

So there you go. Run with that ball through the end zone.

BRIAN: FULL METAL PANIC! sounds awesome. But maybe because I’m picturing Justin Bieber in the lead role. Um…touchdown?

But no, I liked the movie when the main character wasn’t being too annoying. And overall, the movie was well-directed. Some of the fight scenes, like the one you mentioned, needed better staging, but the Hit Girl sequences were fucking awesome. I like that this was a big-budget, mainstream passion project though. You generally only see ungreenlightable, self-financed fare coming from the art house. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call Vaughn an auteur just yet, there is plenty of personal stamp on the movie and it certainly didn’t feel like a hack sellout job. It’s nice to see something made in the independent mode that has completely mainstream aspirations. Actually, I’m rooting for the movie to do well if only to make fools out of the dumb, chicken-shit studio execs who balked at the swear words. So keep independent cinema alive, support your local arthouse movie theater, and go see KICK-ASS! It has a lot of swearing in it! And it’s actually showing at the multi-plex if you didn’t realize I was joking!

Jokes.

GREENBERG review

2010-04-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

We know it's been a while, but we've got a good excuse! The Oscars were so boring, we gave up hope on the industry... and life itself. We vowed to never write another word or see another movie again. We contemplated removing our hands at the wrist and poking out our eyes... until we were saved. Saved by Amanda Sloane Murray and her awesome http://scriptbird.com blog. This talented screenwriter and former New Line executive mentioned us as a blog that was "chock full of useful information and good dirt that you often won't find in other sources," "upfront and honest," and that we have "great senses of humor." She went on to say that our "written dialogues about movies and the process of making them is entertaining in and of itself."

 Well, thank you, Amanda! Since then, we've been on a film watching spree - some old and some new. Our review of KICK-ASS will be coming soon, as will a review of a classic now out on DVD. 

But first, we explore the world of GREENBERG. This review will be chock full of useful information, upfront, honest, and entertaining in and of itself. Join us, won't you?

[editor's note: man, these guys' shameless self-promotion might be douchier than Nikki Finke's]

BRIAN: Initial reactions to GREENBERG: not as funny as I expected, slight departure in directorial style, my least favorite Baumbach film but still quite good.

But... as with any film in this mold, initial reactions are borderline dismissible. Insight never comes in the middle of a real-life experience, and here, a viewer needs distance to be able to process this real-life story. Baumbach’s movies stick with you and reveal themselves the more thought is applied to them.     

Some have mentioned that this is the closest Baumbach has come to doing a genre film, interpreting it as a twisted attempt at a romantic comedy. I can certainly see those elements – there were moments of surprising tenderness between the two romantic leads (surprising for a filmmaker known for caustic exchanges and thinly veiled insults as greetings), and the climactic rush to the airport is straight out of FOUR WEDDINGS, LOVE ACTUALLY, and every other rom com of the past 20 years. But the genre it most resembles to me is the Coming of Age tale. This isn’t immediately apparent because the main character is 40 years old – he should be nearing midlife crisis, not growing up. But the fact that this is so belated for Greenberg, and those who can identify with him, is one of its key observations. GREENBERG is not just a coming of age movie, it’s a generational statement. It should rightfully become a companion piece to Linklater’s SLACKER or Nirvana’s Nevermind as a defining Generation X work of art.

MCFILMERSTEIN: So this is where I review the movie with that guy who did the bad AVATAR parody at the Oscars? Sweet.

Let me start out by saying that I actually liked this flick more than I thought I would. I agree with you that it wasn’t as funny as I expected, and was also my least favorite Baumbach film. You thought I was going to say MARGOT AT THE WEDDING, right? Nope. This one takes it.

I rarely like movies where misery is meant as a doorway into what life is all about. I think it’s an easy in – like trying to make me cry by showing me movies about cancer or the Holocaust. Sure, I will, but as Woody Allen once brilliantly said, “Well, it ruins it for me if you have grass (clearing his throat) because, you know, I'm, like, a comedian – so if I get a laugh from a person who's high, it doesn't count. You know? 'Cause they're always laughin'.” And likewise, I’ll always cry when you give me subjects that are uber-sad. But with misery, filmmakers think that they can make someone a misanthrope and that’s enough for me to lean closer to the screen and give a shit.

It’s like certain filmmakers are telling us that if we’re miserable, we’re deeper. That we have some ethereal connection with the world, or that we understand concepts that happy (read: stupid and content) people could never grasp. I find that to be a bunch of bullshit. Miserable people aren’t deep. They aren’t likable for their “quirks” or their observations. They don’t make me want to delve into their psyche to get a sense as to why they are the way they are. Often, they are – in contrast to the above – assholes that are unlikable that I don’t want to see triumph over their fucked up worldview.

That being said, Baumbach manages, when he is at his best (the script for FANTASTIC MR. FOX, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE), to present not merely misery or caustic barbs, but some authentic glimpses into real human behavior. I’m not sure that this one qualifies to be in the same class as the two films mentioned in parentheses above.

While I didn’t hate this film, I did feel that it lacked a character arc that got me excited (despite your protestations that he “comes of age”), lacked a character that I gave a shit about (despite your pronouncements that he represents a “generation”), and lacked character motivations that I believed. Maybe you’re right that this one will hit me months from now in the middle of the night, but don’t hold your breath.

Before I keep rambling… your thoughts?

BRIAN: Rambling is right – what are you talking about, Grandpa? It sounds like you’re ranting and raving about the emo movement. Not only is that so 2000-and-late, it’s neither here nor there. You’re accusing Noah Baumbach – one of the most unsentimental American filmmakers working today – of being a trendy wrist-cutter? You saw GREENBERG, right? When the Arclight guy took your ticket and directed you to Theatre 7 on your right, you didn’t accidently go into Theatre 8 on your left where they were showing THE LAST SONG? Because what you’re describing is a Nicholas Sparks novel, where indeed, a terminal illness subplot will twist your arm until you say uncle. As in, “Uncle… don’t die, Uncle Bert... why must you die when I’m trying to fall in love?!”

Watch from 3:10 to 4:45. It’ll change your life:

Let me reprint the lyrics to the song on the soundtrack after poor Mandy Moore runs:

“Welcome to the planet…welcome to existence…”

It’s so deep. So deep, put her ass to sleep.

Please don’t mistake Mr. Baumbach for Mr. Sparks. You’re embarrassing yourself. The misanthropy seemed honest, not manufactured. Stiller’s Greenberg is in a long line of Baumbach characters who think themselves morally and intellectually superior: Jeff Daniels in SQUID and Nicole Kidman in MARGOT are two of the most precisely written – and memorable – characters of the past 10 years. And because Greenberg is just an extension of this, I don’t think it’s fair or accurate to say that Baumbach is going for easy sympathy.

Moreover, I disagree with your charge that the film isn’t in the same class as his other films in providing glimpses into real human behavior. Perhaps you’re misreading the film’s imposed distance to its characters. GREENBERG, like his other films, is a comedy of manners. Thus, it needs to keep the viewer at a distance, the better view to observe not just Greenberg, but the entire generation he represents. In other words, the film shouldn’t be viewed with a microscope, zooming in on a character’s hidden life. Take a clue from the very first shot – a panoramic view of the smog hanging over Los Angeles – it should be viewed with a telescope.

I wrote above that I see GREENBERG as a belated Generation-X coming of age film. Let me get into it. Greenberg is miserable, yes. But he is part of a generation whose identity is attached to the prefix “anti.” Anti-establishment, anti-consumerism, anti-etc. It would be hard not to be miserable. Greenberg is a former musician. The pivotal mistake in his life is his rejection of a label offer when he was 25. He’s 40 now, which would likely place his music in the post-grunge alt-rock scene (the label rejection fits right into the ethos of that scene). If it seems odd that this is a coming of age movie with a protagonist that’s 40, Greenberg has a bad case of arrested development. He’s still 25, still grunge rock at heart. He spends his free time writing angry letters to mega-corporations – a sad, impotent outlet for the angry songs he no longer writes. And it’s not just Greenberg, it’s Los Angeles plagued by the industry’s youth culture: at a party, the adults dress like kids and the kids dress like superheroes. “Youth is wasted on the young,” his friend absent-mindedly quotes, and that cliché has never seemed more bitterly jealous than it does here. You write that the film lacked an arc that excited you. I find Greenberg’s coming of age moving and compelling, especially because it was 15 years in the making. Growing up – letting go of all the anger and all the anti-blank – would be admitting that the past 15 years have been a waste. By the end of the movie, he finally takes baby steps towards embracing a life he never planned on. One might imagine his entire generation having to similarly reconcile their hard-headed ideals with the practicalities of life when faced with adulthood. Many argue that Kurt Cobain’s greatest demon was his success.

Greenberg grows up with the help of a girl who’s his emotional match. He seems to be stuck at 25, which is Greta Gerwig’s age in the film. It’s notable that Baumbach cast Gerwig, a mumblecore icon if there is one, in this role (Mark Duplass, another mumblecore alum, is also in it). The movement is the most recent wave to define a generation, and Baumbach uses Gerwig’s generation – overeducated, coddled, aimless, cripplingly self-aware – as a way to complement and contrast Stiller’s. In the film’s set piece, Greenberg directs a drug-induced rant to a party of millenials. It includes the best acting I’ve seen from Mr. Stiller.

There’s a NY Times article about Greta Gerwig representing a new generation of actors that I’d love to eventually discuss in a future post (and acting trends of the past 10 years), but I should probably hand this off to you for a rebuttal on the movie at hand.

But hang on, one more thing…your comment about miserable people not being deep? Fuck YOU!

Welcome to the planet, buddy. Welcome to existence.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Huh? What? Sorry, I dozed off there for a second. My favorite part of your response was that you completely missed the point of what I was saying. I wasn’t saying that GREENBERG was trying to be emo, nor trendy, nor sentimental. I’m saying that much like a movie such as THE LAST SONG, THE NOTEBOOK or A WALK TO REMEMBER tries to make me feel sad by throwing around concepts like “Cancer” or “Alzheimer’s” or “I do not need a reason to be angry with God,” or movies such as THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PAJAMAS or RADIO or SEVEN POUNDS tries to make me feel moved by throwing around concepts like “Holocaust” or “Mentally Challenged” or “Jellyfish,” movies like GREENBERG try to make me give a shit by throwing around concepts like “misanthrope,” “morally intellectual” and “emotionally stunted.” I don’t think they’re going for easy sympathy, but they sure are going for easy Gen-X cred (which you, apparently, bought into… so good for them).

And I totally get why Baumbach and Stiller made it! I think the reasons are similar to why Stephen Daldry and Kate Winslet decided to make THE READER.

I quote Ms. Winslet herself, explaining why she took on the role (for which she won an Oscar): “I don't think we really need another film about the Holocaust, do we? It's like, how many have there been, you know? We get it. It was grim. Move on. No, I'm doing it because I've noticed that if you do a film about the Holocaust you're guaranteed an Oscar… That's why I'm doing it. SCHINDLER’S bloody LIST. THE PIANIST. Oscars coming out of their arse.”

In other words, sure, we don’t need another flick like this, but it’s such an easy character to craft and such an easy cred to snag, why not? Certainly easier than trying to write or direct or bring to life a character that goes deeper than the ones we’ve seen a thousand times before. Let’s just make another movie about an asshole that doesn’t care about others, and slowly, through the love of a good and patient (and flawed herself, in her own way) woman, learns to care and accept that he’s made mistakes in his past and mend fences and “come of age” and realize his emotional maturity and… fuck, man, I’ve seen it before. And better.

I will admit this: your diatribe about Generation X’ers and why they were the way they were was more interesting overall than the movie itself. So kudos.

As for that drug-induced rant at the party, it was – no question – some of the better acting that Stiller has done (compared to what? NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM?), but it was also too easy… to have drugs be the conduit seems like such a cop-out. It seems like every time a film needs a character to show their true colors or admit a deep-dark secret or do something they wouldn’t normally do or let down their armor (even their self-imposed douchey Gen-X figurative armor), the lazy path is to get them high or drunk. Baumbach is better than that.

He’s also better than not doing his research – his portrayal of the “Millenials” is as out of touch as Greenberg’s is. They are arbitrarily violent and listen to Korn and do coke? Really? That’s the best you got? You, Noah, the master of behavior and manners and observation (even when viewed through a telescope)? For shame.

That being said, I did like Gerwig quite a bit. I’d like to read that NY Times article, and I would love to write a post about acting trends of the past 10 years with you. Hell, despite your predilection towards random Nicholas Sparks references, I’d write anything with you.

As for being welcomed to existence, I’d like to thank you. But I’m too disconnected and intellectually superior and holier than thou and misanthropic and emotionally stunted and morally untouchable to care. Sigh. You see, I myself am a Gen-Xer, and existence is just so millennial.

BRIAN: Well, reading your explanation leads me to believe that I still don’t get what you’re saying. So you’re not saying that GREENBERG is a Nicholas Sparks movie, you’re saying it’s “much like” a Nicholas Sparks movie? I still got that wrong? My bad. Sometimes when you talk out of both sides of your mouth like that, I mistake it for you just talking out of your ass. Which one is it?

You write that the film tried to get you to give a shit by making Greenberg a morally intellectual misanthrope. Quite the opposite. Movies get someone to care by making them likable (or by giving them a terminal illness, either one), not by making them an asshole. If anything, Baumbach is making Greenberg hard to care about, and he and Stiller are forced to earn our emotional investment. And they do this, I might add, without a cliché redemption formula and without a hint of sentimentality. Greenberg’s sole expression of sentiment – when he tells Gerwig, “You have value” – is so awkwardly fumbled in its delivery that she takes it as an insult. I would have noticed my heart strings being pulled if I weren’t laughing at the exchange.

You claim you’ve seen this movie before. Well, sure, especially when you gut the movie the way you did in your description, leaving only its skeletal outline. Did you also reject STAR WARS because you read the same story in LORD OF THE RINGS? Did you yawn at THE MATRIX because you had already read the New Testament? Yeah, the story may have been done. Here’s what’s original about it: it’s a late coming of age movie for adults who are only grown-ups in age, and in so doing, it’s a comment on a generation whose identity is based on not selling out to grown-up ideals. That’s something new. We’ve seen seminal Generation-X works from artists in their 20’s (Stiller was in his 20’s in REALITY BITES). GREENBERG observes what happens to this particular bunch of 20-year-olds when they become 40-year-olds. It is akin to THE GRADUATE, which defined not only the wayward hippie generation, but also Mrs. Robinson’s, whose bored housewife barely missed out on the sexual revolution. GREENBERG similarly mixes two generations together in order to show the generational divide.

So I don’t know. I’m just not suspect of any buried machinations in making Greenberg a misanthrope. It seemed natural to me, but it might be due to identifying with him. Maybe it’s that. Or maybe it’s that you’re wrong and just don’t get it. Whatever. I hate you. But only because you’re a person.

MCFILMERSTEIN: We could go on like this all day – we often do when we disagree on a movie. I think the best thing would be for us to encourage our readers to decide for themselves.

I should point out though that you still missed my point, which isn’t that GREENBERG is like a Nicholas Sparks movie, but that when a movie (any movie) tries to elicit an easy reaction instead of developing things properly (ie. “she has Cancer – fucking cry!” or “his family was killed in the Holocaust – fucking be moved!” or “he’s an asshole – fucking care about his journey into non-assholiness!”), I hate that movie.

Beyond that, I have to point out that the line, “Sometimes when you talk out of both sides of your mouth like that, I mistake it for you just talking out of your ass” is freaking gold. It may be your best zinger since the Werther’s Original.

So I don’t know. It seemed forced to me, but it might be due to having a sunny outlook on life. Maybe it’s that. Or maybe it’s that you’re wrong and just don’t get it. Whatever. I love you. But only because you’re you.

Word Vomit About The Oscars (our scattershot version of live blogging)

2010-03-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

MCFILMERSTEIN: So far, we're one out of one! Suck it, America!

BRIAN: ....Because America was expecting Woody Harrelson? We're keeping track of our predictions point total here. But also, I'm keeping count of how many times someone at this viewing party comments on the length of the telecast. Hilarity. So far I've heard 4.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Wow, Christoph Waltz just told the longest metaphor ever. Yawn. And that's two for two. Sadly, it's the two that everyone else got, too. On the bright side, we also hit #3. So far, perfect score.

Also on the bright side, when Ryan Bingham said to his wife, "I love you more than rainbows," the next comment from one of our houseguests was, "Oh, that guy cheats on her. No faithful man says shit like that." Awesome. Best line of the Oscars so far. Certainly better than anything uttered by Steve Martin or Alec Baldwin.

Commercial time.

While we're waiting, what do you think of the format and the hosts so far?

BRIAN: Meh. Nothing new. Great party. I love your friends.

MCFILMERSTEIN: But you're being quiet. Oh, you meant... Oh, that's funny! I don't know those people.

Wow. Molly Ringwald can't blink. That's a shame. Is that botox? So we're batting 1000%.

I'm confused. Is this John Hughes thing part of the In Memoriam thingy? Or is the Academy saying that he is more important than the other dead people? Whoa, Farrah Fawcett died?

BRIAN: I love the John Hughes montage. Real good and moving. And kind of an Academy mea culpa for never recognizing him, right?

MCFILMERSTEIN: So you agree with this? Wouldn't that be similar to picking and choosing our favorite dead people and doing montages and speeches just for them? That could take forever. The John Hughes thing, as much as I love him, belongs in a TV special, not part of the Oscars that we are trying to make shorter.

Now for the bad news: we're three down. We lost three awards. Best short animated thing and best short documentary thing and best short live action thing. This is where you people can pull ahead of us. The awards that we literally did no research on, nor give much of a shit about.

Why do we still love Ben Stiller again? Did he whiten his teeth for this? Man, I hate that guy.

BRIAN: The Oscars is a TV special, silly. They should start burying movie stars during the Oscars. It would help society cope with death, I feel like.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Wow! PRECIOUS just won the Adapted Screenplay Oscar. That is ridiculous. The professor's speech was better than his script. Ugh to say the least. And we missed another one.

Sadder still, the phrase, "Academy Award winner Robin Williams." I just got really depressed.

Sadder still, that means that the powers that be selected Robin Williams to stand in for Heath Ledger.

Fuck me, this ceremony sucks.

BRIAN: I like how they're doing the clips for acting categories a lot. Nice to give the performances more context. Judi Dench would have had her entire performance from SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE screened before she won.

MCFILMERSTEIN: So, to recap, what's the tally?

BRIAN: I don't know. So, hey, they're explaining what the sound categories are all about. Do you think as the Academy is watching this, they're...

MCFILMERSTEIN: Did you just fall asleep? So did everyone else. And now they're introducing their musical people. Is this supposed to prove that gay guys made this ceremony? We get it! Musical numbers, Neil Patrick Harris, a little too much costume love...

Then there's this weird PARANORMAL ACTIVITY parody, that's been done to death. Why not do a BLAIR WITCH parody now? It would be just as topical.

And then a tribute to horror movies. You know that genre, right? It's the one that has never been nominated for an Oscar. So appropriate.

Morgan Freeman is now explaining something about sound and THE DARK KNIGHT. I'll admit that Freeman's voice makes things sound more interesting, but this is still boooooooring. The best sound trick in DARK KNIGHT was making Christian Bale sound like Dizzy Gillespie.

BRIAN: Kristen Stewart's hot even when she turns her head to cough in front of a billion viewers. Man, I wish I was backstage with a cough drop right now. But maybe I don't deserve her...

MCFILMERSTEIN: Best cinematography goes to a blue screen! Well done, Academy.

BRIAN: OMG, they didn't show Farrah Fawcett in the In Memoriam! And now they're doing a tribute to STEP UP. Weird.

MCFILMERSTEIN: A bunch of awards have gone by. We ate pizza. The pizza was more interesting than the ceremony, so we lost focus.

Here's my catch-up... Keanu Reeves is presenting something about THE HURT LOCKER! I can't believe I called that. Jesus. I was kidding, and the Academy thought they were being clever. Yikes.

Now Quentin is making weird voices. Oooooookay.

And now THE WHITE RIBBON is losing Best Foreign Film! What?  I haven't seen the Argentinian flick, but how did Haneke not take it? Weird. Well, I guess if they couldn't give it to Germany, they compromised and gave it to the German hiding place.

BRIAN: History jokes. Giving our readers what they want. Jeff Bridges, wrap it up. Prepare something if you're a fucking lock, loser.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Wow, man. You're angry tonight. I mean, I understand. This Oscar ceremony may be the most boring on record. I couldn't give less of a shit anymore. It's running way long, and we still have Best Actress, Best Director and Best Picture to go. And Oprah is talking and talking and talking. How come she prepared a long speech and Colin Farrell ad-libbed a joke about getting gonorrhea in Mexico?

BRIAN: Sandra Bullock calls her mom by her first name? I like the Best Director introduction: Will the first woman director win? Will the first black person ever win Best Director? Or will the White Man prevail yet again?

MCFILMERSTEIN: It's like the election all over again! Yes, that's right. An election joke! Topical!  Beyond that, my favorite moment of the Oscars so far was when Barbra Streisand said, "The time has come!" but didn't specify if it was the "time" for a black man or a woman, and Lee Daniels started to lean forward.

Finally, THE HURT LOCKER wins Best Picture. At least AVATAR didn't win Best Picture. I'm happy.  So? Were you as bored as I was?

BRIAN: It's reflected in how uninspired this blog post is.

OUTGUESS THE I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER’S OSCAR PREDICTIONS COMPETITION™

2010-03-05T22:21:00.000-08:00

Welcome to OUTGUESS THE I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER’S OSCAR PREDICTIONS COMPETITION™! Instead of "Brian" and "McFilmerstein" each offering up their own predictions, they will settle on one (that’s right, one) choice through furious debate and compromise. Or, more likely, name-calling and threats of bodily harm.

They will stand by this single prediction as a unit, sharing in a victory and taking credit equally. It’ll be like Jason Reitman sharing the award with Sheldon Turner as if they both deserved it.

Readers are invited to post their predictions in the comments section, and those of you who can beat their choice (and who we can get in touch with afterwards) will win a free FROM PARIS WITH LOVE t-shirt!

This award is functional (it can cover your torso!), and also holds a special place in our hearts.

First of all, it’s an homage to one of our earliest blog posts, and therefore commemorates how far we’ve come since we started (9 posts and 21 followers later… it’s been quite the ride, my friends).

Second of all, they won matching t-shirts one night as a result of a couple of earth-shattering karaoke performances. They first brought down the house with ALADDIN’s “A Whole New World,” then sang the shit out of AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Who wouldn’t want to proudly wear a shirt that memorializes such an occasion? They know you, the I Liked The Trailer Better readers, would.

Additionally, they will each sign John Travolta’s name on the unworn t-shirt before giving it to the winner. The t-shirts remain unworn for fear that they might be caught dead in them. I repeat: after singing the song from ALADDIN in front of an adult crowd, they still refuse to wear the shirt in keeping with what remains of their dignity. That’s how unworn it is.

And on that note, good luck! Post your predictions before Sunday!

MCFILMERSTEIN: Well, boy-o, the Oscars are right around the corner, so we better get with the predictions. How do you want to start this off? Right at the top, with Best Picture, or just kind of willy nilly, jumping from random category to random category?

BRIAN: Uh, let’s jump from category to category, similar to how the telecast runs, sandwiching the celebrity categories inside the technical ones. In fact, let’s start off with the supporting acting categories as the show usually does. But before we get to that, where the fuck is the opening song-and-dance number?

Enter Jennifer Hudson, singing to the tune of “Since U Been Gone”:

Here’s the thing, we started with ten
We cast our vote and we wait for when
Yeah yeah
There can only be one….

She gets booed off stage while pulling her Oscar out of her dress and defiantly pumping it in the air.

Okay. Best Supporting Actor. I go with Christoph Waltz for INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. No argument here, right?

MCFILMERSTEIN: Since I already said so in our Oscar nomination extravaganza, correct. Waltz all the way. That being said, where is the typical backlash that comes with this kind of landslide obvious victory? Shouldn’t people be clamoring for this guy to lose (for no other reason than pure ugly jealousy)? I am seriously waiting for Sissy Spacek’s Oscar for IN THE BEDROOM to be handed to Halle “make me feel goooooooooood” Berry for MONSTER’S BALL again. But, for now, no backlash. So yeah, Waltz 100%.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christoph Waltz, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

MCFILMERSTEIN: Well, that was relatively painless. I have a feeling we’ll agree on a lot of these winners, since it’s not about taste – it’s about predicting the tastes of the Academy. In short, if we can’t argue with each other, we better start getting catty as hell about the Academy’s taste. Shouldn’t be hard.

On to the next. Best Supporting Actress. Another lock. Mo'Nique for PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL ‘PUSH’ BY SAPPHIRE BASED ON THE MOVIE ‘PRECIOUS’ BY PUSH BASED ON THE PUSH BY ‘NOVEL’ FOR SAPPHIRE, or whatever. I mean, even if it wasn’t a lock, without Samantha Morton in the running, what are the other options? The actress playing an actress in NINE? That’s a stretch. The girl supporting Jeff Bridges in the movie about Jeff Bridges? It was really sweet of her to be there so he had time to do his costume changes. The chick from TWILIGHT whining at George Clooney? I mean, that was some quality whining, but come on! Yes, I’ll admit that I would be fine with Vera Farmiga, but it’s not even a close race and she’ll win one later anyway. Mo'Nique by a mile. Thoughts?

BRIAN: Dim the lights. Cue theme from FORREST GUMP. Begin IN MEMORIAM 2009 montage – I know it’s a bit early, but go along with me for a sec. We golf clap to the many who have entertained us – and entertain us still – for they will forever live on the silver screen. Brittany Murphy… gone too soon. I think these jokes are too soon. David Carradine, cut to Tarantino doing the rock n’ roll sign with his hand. Some writer who wrote some movie. Farrah Fawcett… Farrah Fawcett died? Thunderous applause for Michael Jackson (seriously, when did Farrah Fawcett die?). Michael Jackson’s kids walk sadly across the stage. Billy Mays the Shamwow guy? Man, they weren’t kidding about wanting to attract a broader viewing audience. OMG, Jeff Goldblum fell off a cliff while filming a movie! Wait, someone edited this montage on Twitter Cut Pro – I don’t think that’s right. And finally, Heath Ledger.

Technically, he died in 2008, but it’s traditional to have the winner of the previous year hand out the award to the opposite sex of the same category, so let’s please welcome to the stage, winner for his performance in THE DARK KNIGHT, Heath Ledger! Using the same technology that gave a dead Fred Astaire the ability to dance with a vacuum cleaner, Heath Ledger appears on the screen to give the award to….

Mo’Nique. Yeah, that’s pretty much a lock.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Mo'Nique, PRECIOUS, BASED ON THE NOVEL

BRIAN: Moving on to Best Sound Mixing, also known as your cue to take a leak. The thing about the technical awards is that it’s voted on by members of the Academy that have no understanding of the category itself. Consequently, voters will essentially vote for their Best Picture, so this category will come down to AVATAR or THE HURT LOCKER. Since AVATAR was more about the visuals than the sound (or acting or writing), I say it will go to HURT LOCKER.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Ah, that was a good leak. Full body shiver inducing, in fact. Good call.

So, yeah – most people have no clue what sound mixing is, but they understand the word ‘sound’ and assume that means loudest movie. In this category, the loudest movie is easily TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, but I think enough people hated this log of donkey shit enough that it won’t win.

BASTERDS was about dialogue, so it’s out (especially because film people forget that dialogue has to be recorded and mixed).

Then there’s STAR TREK. This one actually has a shot, because it’s loud and cool and respected and made money and didn’t get the Best Picture nomination a lot of people thought it deserved.

And finally AVATAR. I hate to say it, but despite the fact that – yes – this movie was all about the visuals, people having one of their senses bombarded tend to forget which one it is. So as much as I’d like to say that this one is between STAR TREK and HURT LOCKER with HURT LOCKER pulling out a much-deserved win, I actually think this one will be going to AVATAR.

Plus, the Vegas odds are all about this one going to AVATAR.

Our first disagreement! The tension is so thick, you can cut it with a straight razor. What now?

BRIAN: I dunno. I guess I’m giving too much credit to the Academy in thinking they’d put more than two seconds of thought into their vote. It’s probably easier to just vote for AVATAR in all technical categories. If I were campaigning for Team Avatar, I’d somehow remind voters that it’s not just Sound Mixing, it’s Sound Mixing in 3D. I feel like that would make it a lock.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SOUND MIXING: AVATAR

BRIAN: Let’s play it safe and choose the same for Sound Editing, yeah? That FROM PARIS WITH LOVE t-shirt is mine! Suck it, readers! I hate you all! Seriously, why do all our readers think I’m a pretentious asshole according to your Twitter feed? Don’t get it.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Short and sweet: cool. AVATAR for Sound Editing works for me, too. As for you being a pretentious asshole, I have a simple retort. Here it is: and?

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SOUND EDITING: AVATAR

BRIAN: Handing out the award for Best Costume Design, please welcome Taylor Lautner! To illustrate why NEW MOON wasn’t nominated in this category, he takes off his shirt. Bowtie remains on his neck.

Wow, it’s between five movies nobody’s seen. This is exciting. So Catherine Leterrier was nominated for her costume design for COCO BEFORE CHANEL. I mean, is Catherine Leterrier the pseudonym for Coco Chanel? What kind of research were they expecting the designer to do other than comb through Chanel’s own collection?

Let’s go with THE YOUNG VICTORIA since those clothes looked the most uncomfortable. I’m telling you, this is exactly how the Academy thinks.

MCFILMERSTEIN : The sad part is that you are 100% right. That is exactly how the Academy thinks. And since most of the voters are actors, they will pick the costume that will most readily win them an Oscar if they were wearing it themselves. BRIGHT STAR has a lot of top hats and waist coats, but is pretty drab overall. COCO BEFORE CHANEL is lovely, but – as you already pointed out – shouldn’t really count because they just kind of pilfered Chanel’s early designs to make it happen. It’s like when SHINE got nominated for Best Score, when really the only piece of music in it that is moving belongs to Rachmaninoff. NINE made slut chic look… um… slutty? PARNASSUS got nominated because it was weird, I guess. So yeah, THE YOUNG VICTORIA is, I think, a lock. Way to go, Sandy Powell.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: THE YOUNG VICTORIA

MCFILMERSTEIN: While we’re in the awards that we pretend to respect while we’re waiting for more stars to come out, let’s move right along to Best Art Direction. Instead of having a human come out to present this award, the Academy does that thing they do sometimes when they have animated characters present awards. The people at home delight! The people in the audience take the opportunity to get sauced.

This time, the two main characters from AVATAR, Neytiri and Jake Sully, speaking entirely in Na’avi (with subtitles, of course) present the nominees. This is the Academy’s way of saying “Let’s not waste any time – the winner is so obvious we may as well have fun by having characters from the winner talk to you right now!”

They sure as hell are not going to give it to NINE. SHERLOCK HOLMES was all dark and moody and bland (and yes, I know all of you will tell me that they used London to better effect than anyone ever in the history of the world, but it was still fucking bland). VICTORIA was really more about costumes than anything. And PARNASSUS is – again – weird.

Hell, the Vegas odds for this category now read like this (and no, I am not kidding):

AVATAR: 2/9
Any Other Movie: 14/5

Hard to dispute the odds when they don’t even bother typing out the other films’ names.

Any arguments with that?

BRIAN: Arguments? I mean, the art direction of all of the other nominees is in 2-D. 2-D is for losers.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST ART DIRECTION: AVATAR

BRIAN: To perform the first of our nominated songs, please welcome to the stage Lady Gaga with her rendition of “Loin de Paname” from PARIS 36!

Lady Gaga performs “Poker Face.” Multiple cuts to Goldie Hawn dancing in her seat.

Best Documentary and Documentary Short. I haven’t seen any of the nominees and I’m too lazy to look up the Vegas odds, so I’ll base my decision on the political climate. Let’s go with THE COVE because harm to whales make killers of them all, and THE LAST TRUCK: CLOSING OF A GM PLANT because GM makes cars and Toyota does too. Most voters uttered the word “topical” as they cast their ballot. I feel like I missed the opportunity to win an Oscar this year and should have made LUGE: THE HUMAN DEATH SPORT or MY BIG FAT GREEK DEBT CRISIS.

Topical.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Before I begin, I’d like to just distance myself from that luge joke. Unlike NBC! *SLAM!*

Wow, you have really burrowed into the mind of the voter (who also, incidentally, have not seen any of the documentary nominees)! There are a few reasons why I agree with you that THE COVE is taking it – one, dolphins are delicious (that’s what it’s about, right?) and two, Fisher Stevens produced it and he used to hump Julia Roberts. So he’s one of us, guys!

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST DOCUMENTARY, FEATURES: THE COVE

MCFILMERSTEIN: But I will have to disagree on the Short Subject. While it is totally topical that GM closed plants (and that Toyota makes cars that don’t stop), UP IN THE AIR is about layoffs, so we addressed it already! Plus, there’s something else that is nominated that is suddenly topical, too. And, I think more topical… Anyone? Anyone?

That’s right! Earthquakes for 500, Alex! CHINA’S UNNATURAL DISASTER is about an earthquake that killed a bunch of people and generally made stuff bad and sad. Sound like any country we know? The tears of the Sichuan Province are flowing right into the Kodak Theater, my friends! Now that, my friend… is topical.

BRIAN: Huh. I didn’t realize what that film was about. Excellent point, sir. Text 90889 to donate your vote to CHINA’S UNNATURAL DISASTER.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT: CHINA’S UNNATURAL DISASTER

BRIAN: Oh, shit. We’re losing viewers. Quick! Please welcome to the stage the president of the Motion Picture Academy, Tom Sherak!

Tom Sherak: Ladies and Gentlemen, the movies are what we watch…

*changes channel*

Oh, look. The Puppy Oscars are on Animal Planet. How cute.

*changes back*

Tom Sherak: …so please everybody, stop downloading music!

Alright, Best Foreign Film. The only film to be released domestically before the nominations was THE WHITE RIBBON. Plus, it was nominated in one of the major technical categories, which means enough people saw it. Lastly, it has a well-regarded director in Michael Haneke. That’s my choice. It’s quite the upset otherwise.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Le sigh. That’s French for ‘sigh’. Remember the French? They were the people that Germany enslaved and pillaged during World War II! Interesting that you want to vote for the Germans. Interesting indeed. That being said, as a Jew, I know better than to bet against the Germans when they’re going up against France, Israel, Peru and their chosen vacation spot, Argentina (another Mojito, Mr. Hitler?), so I agree – WHITE RIBBON it is.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST FOREIGN FILM: THE WHITE RIBBON

MCFILMERSTEIN: Speaking of pillaging, there is one company that basically is guaranteed an Oscar every time they make a movie (yes, I know SHREK beat out MONSTERS, INC., and HAPPY FEET beat out CARS, but you know what I mean).

Obviously, I’m talking about Pixar. And this year, they have UP. It’s the only film in this category to also have a nomination in the Best Picture category. That’s Best regular Picture. So it must be a lock, right?

Wrong.

Time Magazine named THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG the best movie of the year. AO Scott of the New York Times selected it as his pick to win this category. Lisa Schwarzbaum of Entertainment Weekly gave it an ‘A’. Allison Samuels of Newsweek said, “For what seems like forever, I have waited for THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG.” And, most telling, a guy with the username ‘jbboy’ posted in the LA Times public forum that he, “thinks it has a chance in the Best Animated Film category.”

So, what does all that point to? Will this be the year that Disney bests it’s Pixar underlings? Will this be the year that traditional hand-painted animation prevails? Will this be the year of the massive upset?

No. Of course not. Don’t be retarded.

UP for the win.

INDIE: Of course PRINCESS AND THE FROG doesn’t stand a chance. 2-D is for losers, remember? Losers like you, jbboy.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST ANIMATED FILM: UP

BRIAN: So UP just won, beating out Wes Anderson and his film FANTASTIC MR. FOX. He’ll definitely be the recipient of a Lifetime Achievement Award in about 40 years after never winning an Oscar during the prime of his career.

The nominees for Future Lifetime Achievement Award as a Better Late Than Never Consolation Prize are: Wes Anderson, Jim Jarmusch, Alfonso Cuaron, Spike Jonze, and PT Anderson.

And the winner is actor-turned-director Zach Braff.

Let’s get a couple more meaningless categories out of the way.

For Best Live Action Short, eenie meenie miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, eenie meenie miney moe – it’s going to INSTEAD OF ABRACADABRA.

Best Animated Short. I say it goes to A MATTER OF LOAF AND DEATH, a return to short form in the beloved Wallace and Gromit series. It already won Best Picture at the Puppy Oscars. I say that’s a harbinger.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Live Action Short. God, who cares? Let’s put it this way – THE DOOR is getting all the play, but I think your system is far too scientific to be wrong. Hell with it. ABRACADABRA it is.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION: INSTEAD OF ABRACADABRA

MCFILMERSTEIN: Animated Short. From everything I’ve read, THE LADY AND THE REAPER sounds awesome. Since no one is ever going to see these things, I’ll just tell you that it’s about death trying to kill a lady. When a doctor revives her, she realizes that all the chasing death has done has caused her to fall in love with him. So she jumps into a bathtub with a toaster so they can be together. Awesome, right? Oh, sorry – spoiler alert. Meant to say that earlier. Likewise LOGORAMA sounds neat-o. Any short in which Ronald McDonald blows the head off of Mr. Peanut with a machine gun sounds tight. That’s what the kids call it now, right? Tight?

But who are we kidding? If the Puppy Bowl says so, it may as well be Moses bringing the tablets down the mountain… because it’s gospel.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SHORT FILM, ANIMATED: A MATTER OF LOAF AND DEATH

MCFILMERSTEIN: Let’s move on to what may be the toughest race of the night. Are you sitting down? Fasten your seat belts. Prepare for a water landing. Because we’re delving into a category where there are no certainties. Where truth is just an illusion. Where you think you know what’s coming around the corner, but all that comes is more mystery, wrapped in riddles, wrapped in enigmas.

Oh wait, my bad – this one’s a gimme.

AVATAR wins Best Visual Effects.

BRIAN: Hang on, let me check the Vegas odds…

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: AVATAR

BRIAN: Here to perform “The Weary Kind” from CRAZY HEART is singer-songwriter Ryan Bingham.

“Anybody who ever built an empire/Or changed the world/Sat where you are now…”

HAHAHA. Get it? It’s ‘cause George Clooney’s character is named Ryan Bingham and so is the name of the guy who wrote that song! It’s hilarious when I explain it! LOL. Fuck you.

Best Original Screenplay. It’s between BASTERDS and HURT LOCKER. Even though I think a script like BASTERDS is what the Academy tends to favor (it’s very, very written and clever), a couple things make me think it’ll go to HURT LOCKER. One, I think Tarantino’s previous work will work against him. He’s recycling a whole lot here, and he did it better in his earlier films. And two, I think of MILK winning last year, whose script was smart, well-researched, and more respectable than dazzling. I think HURT LOCKER will get a similar conscience vote, even if the writing is nothing without the directing.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I am so torn. On one hand, I feel like you’re right – THE HURT LOCKER is a no-brainer. That being said, this is usually the consolation prize award. GOSFORD PARK, USUAL SUSPECTS, PULP FICTION, MILK, JUNO, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND… and on and on.

In other words, this is the slot where films that are cool, hip, subversive, different, quirky, violent, profane or up against a Ron Howard flick go to die.

All that being said, I don’t think that THE HURT LOCKER is going to get shut out this year. And so it doesn’t need to go here to die. Plus, without the directing, the script doesn’t stand on its own. And that’s why I’m leaning towards INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. Like you said, it’s just so damn written! And, as we pointed out actors make up the majority of the voting population, and they all want to speak Tarantino-ese. And INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS totally won the top award at the SAG awards for exactly that reason. For all of the reasons I laid out here, I’m saying BASTERDS takes it.

Weird, because I don’t disagree with you. I just have no faith in the voting population.

Thoughts?

BRIAN: That’s right. I forgot that it won the top SAG award and the acceptance speech was given by not only the worst actor in the movie, but a non-actor: Eli Roth. I’m not so sure BASTERDS really has the goodwill of the acting community after that.

That was a pretty weak argument, but I still feel like HURT LOCKER is gonna win here because the film is not a lock for Best Picture, nor Best Director. A favorite, but not a lock. I still lean towards HURT.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Like I said, I don’t disagree with you. And since I don’t, and since Eli Roth was so so so bad in it that it almost ruined the movie for me in parts, I’ll go with you on this one. I’m not even checking the Vegas odds. That’s the faith I have in my little man. Yes… you… are my little man.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SCREENPLAY, ORIGINAL: THE HURT LOCKER

MCFILMERSTEIN: Let’s move on to that other screenplay category. The one where a great novelist is up against a film professor, a special effects guy, some TV writers and the son of a famous director (along with his barnacle).

That’s right! It’s time for Best Adapted Screenplay!

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart walk out on stage and ad lib the funniest lines of the night in order to prove that scripts are utterly dispensable. They completely ignore the teleprompter and forget to read the list of nominees. So, in confused silence, clips of the nominated films play in the background.

And the winner is… Jason Reitman for UP IN THE AIR! He comes out on stage. Hanging onto his back, using no energy to make it to the stage… is Sheldon Turner.

A little back story. Years ago, Turner adapted UP IN THE AIR. Nobody liked it. It went on a shelf. Years later, Reitman wanted to make UP IN THE AIR. But now there was this other screenplay already written. Reitman read it and was like “eh,” and wrote his own. Arbitration occurred, and – as usual in situations where screenplays are adapted from other work – the WGA was like, “The characters are similar, the situations are similar, the set-pieces are similar, the sequence of events is similar…” Well, no shit, WGA, it’s adapted from a book! How different did you expect it to be? I mean, the writing is nowhere near the same, the depth of the characters is nowhere near the same, the message and emotion and everything is nowhere near the same… but the fact remains that the WGA awarded co-writing credit to both guys.

Many years ago, there was a similar story on the movie MIRACLE. Eric Guggenheim wrote a draft. The producers hated it. They fired him and brought in Mike Rich, he of THE ROOKIE fame. He wrote the draft that you see on-screen. Literally, all of it. Every line of dialogue, every situation, every character arc. But the WGA said that they couldn’t award Rich any credit because the exact same events occurred in the exact same order they did in Guggenheim’s draft. The characters were the same people. The outcome of the movie the same. It even shared similar lines, like, “Do you believe in miracles?!” Rich and the producers argued that of course all those things were the same – it was based on a true story. No dice. If you watch that movie now, the script is credited to Eric Guggenheim. Mike Rich’s name is nowhere in sight.

In short, this means that even though Reitman wrote it on his own not using Turner’s draft at all, tough shit. This is a shared award.

It also means that the million dollar writer of exactly one movie (not counting ‘story by’ credits or projects that haven’t been released yet) is about to win an Oscar for a movie he didn’t write.

And this in the same ceremony where if THE HURT LOCKER wins, Nicolas Chartier won’t be able to accept his award. God bless America.

BRIAN: Wow! That was a long story, Grandpa! Your hands feel like leather!

Jesus, whenever anyone begins a story with “Many years ago,” I start salivating for a Werther’s Original.

Those are kind of amazing WGA arbitration stories though. It’s almost as if the committee is a bunch of barren would-be mothers teaching their children how to share. It’s okay if you can’t have children, WGA arbitration committee… You can just tie balloons to your house and adopt a chubby Asian boy scout and his talking dog.

Definitely agree with you about the winner. Here’s where the consolation prize logic works since UP IN THE AIR is mostly out of the running for Best Picture.

Wow. I’m stunned we went through that last category without making a single “Based on the novel Push by Sapphire” joke.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST SCREENPLAY, ADAPTED: UP IN THE AIR, BASED ON THE NOVEL ‘PUSH’ BY SAPPHIRE

BRIAN: Best Makeup.

Makeup will go to STAR TREK, I guess. The other two are biopics and nobody remembers what the real life people looked like to give a shit.

MCFILMERSTEIN: How can I argue with that kind of logic? STAR TREK it is! Especially because they made William Shatner look so young. Amazing.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST MAKEUP: STAR TREK

MCFILMERSTEIN: On to a serious category, cinematography. Apparently this is another category where AVATAR and THE HURT LOCKER are neck-and-neck. And, of course, the serious upset at the Cinematography Awards (voted on by actual cinematographers!), where THE WHITE RIBBON upset the apple cart and took home the prize.

Once again, we have to take into consideration the idiocy of the actors in Hollywood, and how little they actually understand about the process. I am taking this out on the actors because they are such a big part of the voting population that if they all vote one way, it can change the sands of time.

In this case, we have a group of people who think that what they see on-screen counts as cinematography, which would make them lean towards AVATAR, even though most of the movie took place on worlds and in environments that were totally manufactured in post-production. In other words, if AVATAR wins, it is winning for being the best cinematography of a green screen. Again, knowing that the collective IQ of most of the actors in Hollywood equals the number of calories in a Tic Tac (“less than 2 calories per mint!”), this may still prevail.

So let’s discuss THE WHITE RIBBON. This is in black and white. And in German. And not directed by Steven Spielberg. Fail.

Then there’s HURT LOCKER, which had some of the best cinematography of the year – gritty, realistic, in-your-face. It’s obvious that this guy works with Paul Greengrass a lot. His intimate camerawork blends Super 16mm and digital video together seamlessly, and uses some of the best high speed work I’ve seen in a long time. While I often ignore my gut when it comes to matters of the Academy, I have to ignore the Vegas odds (which have AVATAR a smidge ahead of THE HURT LOCKER) and stay true to myself – I’m saying THE HURT LOCKER takes it by a nose.

BRIAN: I definitely see your point, but THE HURT LOCKER isn’t pretty. When was the last time the award went to something purely gritty – or for its blending of different formats for Christ’s sake? The only winner I can think of is SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, but that was novel in its technique and had plenty of stretches of beautiful landscape. HURT’s look by design is unglamorized and unpretty. By contrast, WHITE RIBBON is gorgeous to look at. I can see clueless voters using the ASC Awards as a cheat-sheet and just going with the winner.

MCFILMERSTEIN: This is our longest argument yet! The readers must be ecstatic! Either that, or they’re sad that mommy and daddy are fighting. I’m mommy.

I love the purity of your logic, duder, but the fact remains that best does not always win. Remember the cinematography in MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA beating out BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN or ROAD TO PERDITION beating out THE PIANIST? All solidly shot films, but the best cinematography did not win out either time. Sometimes it’s just a matter of what people feel more comfy with or what more people saw. And the bottom line is that of the 6,000 voting actors in the Academy, I would venture a guess that 500 saw THE WHITE RIBBON.

In my personal opinion, there’s no way I can ever see a scenario in which THE WHITE RIBBON wins it. Saying it that boldly, I may end up with egg on my face Sunday night, but I am quite sure that I’m right.

So without that one in the running, I’m holding out hope that they realize that AVATAR is manufactured.

I still say THE HURT LOCKER.

BRIAN: So I think WHITE RIBBON wins it, but can certainly see HURT LOCKER taking the prize. You think HURT LOCKER wins it with WHITE RIBBON not having a chance in hell. Okay, then: HURT LOCKER it is, as a compromise. Goddamnit, all daddy gets tonight is a handjob. Marriage sucks!

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: HURT LOCKER

BRIAN: The announcer calls my name and announces that I will now sing the the last nominated song of the night!

And then I perform “A Whole New World.”

Bruce Vilanch, Neil Patrick Harris, Rupert Everett, the cast of Wicked, and my mom appear stage right and call me a homo. I slink offstage. I find an empty room of the Kodak Theatre and look out the window. “Riff raff…street rat…”

Best Original Song is easy. The CRAZY HEART song wins it.

Best Original Score also easy. Did the Academy just get lazy with their nominations here? I remember the scores to AVATAR and SHERLOCK HOLMES being loud and obnoxious – I just think they got recognized because James Horner and Hans Zimmer are perennials. HURT LOCKER had music? Really? When the film wins all those awards, I’m expecting the orchestra to play either “Love Hurts” or NIN’s “The Perfect Drug.” I always love the music in Wes Anderson’s stuff, but UP is the people’s choice, and the people are right on this one.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I come up behind you in that empty room at the Kodak Theater and smile coyly, singing, “…I don’t… buy that…” What ensues is the best Oscar number since Rob Lowe molested Snow White.

The CRAZY HEART song? You’re not even going to give it the recognition of calling it “The Weary Kind”? Rude. On the other hand, who knows the name of this song as anything but the CRAZY HEART song? Touché, sir. Well played.

Well, of course the CRAZY HEART song wins! What are the other options? Something in some weird language, something from a bomb of a movie based on a bomb of a musical? Or (speaking of perennials) perennial loser Randy Newman?

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST ORIGINAL SONG: “The Weary Kind” from CRAZY HEART

MCFILMERSTEIN: Thank you thank you thank you for pointing out that the scores of SHERLOCK HOLMES and AVATAR were nothing short of annoying. And, if I’m being kind, at the very least unnecessary. The funny thing is that the one movie you didn’t mention was the one that came closest to overtaking UP in this category. FANTASTIC MR. FOX (which, yes, I finally saw, and loved) had a – wait for it – fantastic score.

But yeah, UP not only had the sequence at the beginning of the movie that was all music that made everyone cry, but it also has the guy from “Lost” doing its music. How do you go wrong?

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: UP

MCFILMERSTEIN: We’re getting down to the final stretch here, kids. It’s all serious from here. One of my favorite categories is editing. I love this category because a bad movie can be made good in the post process, and a good movie can be made very very bad. This is where movies are made, ladies and gentlemen. If anyone tells you different, they are directors and have some kind of God complex. Without editors, directors would just be egomaniacs that like to tell actors what to do. Want proof? Look no further than Mr. Michael Bay, the #1 grossing person in the industry last year. He is known for shooting miles and miles of footage from way too many cameras from way too many angles and then handing it all to his editor and saying, “Make this into something coherent. Oh, and no cut longer than an eighth of a second.” All that fancy footwork that is now known as the ‘Michael Bay Filmmaking Technique’? All done in the editing room. And since he is not his own editor, he can suck it.

Anyway, this category has some great work in it this year.

I feel like we have to eliminate PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE HIT MUSICAL WRITTEN BY STEPHEN SONDHEIM because it simply drags some stuff on too long. When it works, it’s great. When it doesn’t, it gets kinda boring.

Likewise INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, which is far too long a film to warrant any kind of editing kudos. I want to eliminate AVATAR for the same reason, but somehow more of that visual feast seemed okay.

DISTRICT 9 was really clever in its editing techniques, cutting around mediocre and cheaply made effects. But that’s what it was. Parlor tricks to avoid revealing their low budget. Not the best editing of the year.

So where does that leave us? Oh yes, right back where we have been about a dozen times already. AVATAR vs. THE HURT LOCKER.

I think the only option here is to give it to THE HURT LOCKER. Sure, it was over two hours long, but not by much and none of the film felt draggy. I’d even go so far as to call it tightly edited. Bottom line, though, as to why HURT LOCKER is my choice is that this movie was all about tension. It was all about making my palms sweat. And that, my friends, is part directing… but mostly editing. This movie may have been the tensest I’ve ever been in a theater. I gripped that armrest time and again, watching as the cuts on the screen were so fine, they nearly drew blood.

Also, the editor’s union (ACE) has only missed this winner one time in ten years, and their award went to HURT LOCKER. So there you go.

BRIAN: If you opened a movie theatre, the concession stand would run out of Werther’s Originals.

HURT LOCKER all the way. Deservedly so, even if they forgot to edit Kate from “LOST” out of the movie.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST EDITING: THE HURT LOCKER

BRIAN: Ah, the Best Actor and Actress categories. Your favorite people.

We should really change the way they show 8 second clips of the performances out of context. Half the time the actor looks ridiculous. Let’s be more inventive here:

For the Jeff Bridges clip, they should do a Lifetime Achievement Award montage in 8 seconds.

For Clooney, show him working the phone banks at an earthquake relief center. At the last second, he looks up at the camera and flashes that smile.

For Meryl Streep, we’ll do a split-screen with Julia Child on one side and Streep’s impersonation of her on the other.

For Sandra Bullock, we do a split-screen of THE BLIND SIDE mom on the left side and Erin Brockovich on the right.

You get the idea…

Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock will win their long-awaited Oscars.

MCFILMERSTEIN: My favorite part about this category is how we’re totally glossing over it. Lumping Actor and Actress together is just about the best thing you’ve ever done.

Hitchock once said, “Actors are cattle.” He then apologized and said he misspoke. This is what he corrected himself with: “I didn’t mean that actors are cattle. That’s ridiculous. What I meant is that actors should be treated like cattle.” Hell yeah, Hitch!

So, with that being said, let’s move on to honoring the most overpaid cattle in the world.

Bridges takes this one to the bank. I love how he somehow manages to make it sound like he is still under-rated after all these years. And I never doubt it for a moment. After being in huge blockbusters. After being in iconic roles that will be remembered forever. And I bet even after he wins this Oscar. I kind of want to put money down that his speech will, at some point, include the phrase, “By giving me this award, you guys are making it hard to be under-rated!”

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST ACTOR: Jeff Bridges, CRAZY HEART

MCFILMERSTEI: And then there’s Julia Roberts. Not necessarily the best performance of the year, but a fine southern accent and a solid movie that made tons of money. This is our way of telling Julia that we know she’s not our best actress, but she is one of our most enduring ones, and we respect the fact that she keeps making us money and somehow manages to avoid the sands of time.

Oh shit, did I say Julia? I meant Sandra. Whatever. Same thing.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST ACTRESS: Sandra Bullock, THE BLIND SIDE

MCFILMERSTEIN: Cameron. Tarantino. Daniels. Bigelow. Reitman. A formidable group. Well, Cameron, Tarantino, Bigelow and Reitman are, anyway.

Yes, I did just dismiss Daniels from the running. It was a nice run, though, and I’m sure your next film will also be equally over-praised.

Okay, so where were we? Ah yes. Cameron, Tarantino and Bigelow. Wait wait wait… isn’t someone missing? Ah yes, Reitman. Enjoy your writing Oscar, because in this category, it was a pleasure to be nominated. Love your movie, but when it comes to this year’s directing, you are just not in the same league. I know I praise you often as a director, and I still stand by it. But in terms of skill and years of experience, you’re just not there yet. I honestly believe you’ll surpass most of the other names in this category someday (well, maybe not Tarantino and Cameron), but not today.

So we’re down to the final three. Quentin, let’s you and I have a little chat. Remember how you got that amazing performance out of Christoph that won him the Oscar? Revel in that, because it’s all your film is getting tonight.

Which brings us back home to Cameron and Bigelow. So let’s review their careers for a moment to see what makes this an interesting fight.

Let’s put aside for the moment that they were married. Likewise, let’s leave at the door that Cameron really helped Bigelow start her career as a director, and mentored her when she first called ‘action’. Let’s focus instead on other things.

PRO BIGELOW:
1) Cameron already has one of these statues
2) Bigelow would be the first woman to ever win an Oscar for directing
3) Bigelow won the DGA award – also a first
4) Bigelow’s film is directed better (you’d think this would be enough)
5) Bigelow’s film actually has something to say without being preachy
6) Bigelow got better performances out of her actors
7) Actors are afraid that if Cameron keeps getting better at making movies like AVATAR, they may someday find themselves out of a job as characters will someday be computer generated

PRO CAMERON:
1) Cameron has made the two highest grossing movies of all time
2) Cameron is nominated for directing the biggest movie in history
3) Cameron made special effects and 3-D come alive in ways no one has before
4) Cameron’s film is “neat”
5) Cameron got a great performance out of an animated character
6) It made me happy that Cameron and Sigourney Weaver were working together again
7) Actors want to work with Cameron because a starring role in a film of his means they can buy that island they’ve always wanted

So, there you have it. Those are the factors. And yes, these are the official factors. If you don’t believe me, look on the Oscar website. If you can’t find it, it’s because you’re bad at the internet.

After all that deliberation, the result is the same as it was right after I walked out of the theater after seeing THE HURT LOCKER.

Cameron gave an interview a few weeks ago in which he was asked if he thought Bigelow should win Best Director. Here’s what he said, and I quote, “That would be a fantasy. That would be my fantasy outcome, absolutely.” When even your toughest competition is voting for you, that says something.

Team Bigelow all the way.

BRIAN: Wow, sounds like Cameron really respects women! (Seriously? You’re sparing our readers what you told me about him and his policy about... uh… you know… uttbay exsay? Good call, actually. Good call.)

Cameron’s achievements are monumental, but I get the feeling like he couldn’t be any more successful than he already is, why give him another Oscar…

I think Academy members like to pat themselves on the back when they vote for something as historic as the first female director winning this award, so that’s a big factor here.

Team History.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST DIRECTOR: Kathryn Bigelow, THE HURT LOCKER

BRIAN: Okay, Best Picture. If it isn’t already clear, it’s another two-man race between AVATAR and HURT LOCKER.

As you mentioned above, actors make up the majority of the voting members, and they value films more for their story and character than any achievements in technical wizardry. Also, I agree – actors can be vain, and they’re probably not all that thrilled about the future of motion-capture swallowing up their beautiful faces, no matter how “hot” Zoe Saldana was as that blue horse monkey (I don’t get the “hot” thing at all. I mean, if Jake Sully mounted Neytiri from behind, it would’ve looked like the nature channel. Not that I wasn’t wanting it to happen...).

Best Picture usually goes to the important film over the better film. And while both of these films address Iraq, only one of them really registers as a war movie. THE HURT LOCKER will win over AVATAR, just like GHANDI over E.T.

MCFILMERSTEIN: And here to present the award for Best Picture, Johnny Utah!

Keanu Reeves ambles out on stage. Despite being in THE MATRIX movies and having 90% of the backend profit participation, he looks like he is Matt Dillon’s stand-in from the movie SINGLES.

“Uh, hey!” he says, sounding more confused than anything. “A couple of years ago, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola presented the Best Director award. The suspense was thick, because who would have thunk that the Academy would do something as obvious as getting Scorsese’s three best friends to present him with his Oscar?”

He pauses for a long time. Remembers where he is.

“Did the chick from SPEED just take home an Academy Award?” He shakes it off. “Anyway, in the spirit of that not-at-all obvious handoff, the Academy asked me to be here tonight to present Best Picture.”

He points up to the ceiling, a tear trying like hell to form in the corner of his eye.

“This one’s for you, Bodhi! Ladies and gentlemen, the Oscar for Best Picture goes to…”

He opens the envelope.

“…THE HURT LOCKER!”

James Cameron, despite his earlier interview, grabs the chair he’s sitting in, rips it from its bolts, and throws it across the room, hitting Linda Hamilton. “Son of a bitch! I said give her Director and give me Picture! Fuck this town.”

Credits roll. Fade to black. Another night of bliss in the hills of Hollywood.

Let’s go get shitfaced at the Vanity Fair party.

I LIKED THE TRAILER BETTER OFFICIAL OSCAR SELECTION:
BEST PICTURE: THE HURT LOCKER

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Reminder to all readers: This was not just us rambling. This is a competition. Remember – t-shirts are at stake. And we just threw in a keychain. A t-shirt and a keychain.

And hurry – since the awards are Sunday. We need to receive your submissions by noon on Sunday at the latest.

If you have any problems posting your predictions in our comments section, send us an email to ilikedthetrailerbetter@gmail.com.

The first two winners to beat our score will each get a t-shirt and a keychain from the movie FROM PARIS WITH LOVE. You know you don’t want to pass that up.

Have fun everyone, and happy hunting!

Belated Top Ten(s) of 2009 part two (#5 - #1)

2010-02-17T21:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to I Liked The Trailer Better’s belated Top Ten of 2009. This is Part 2: Revenge of the Stalin. It’s really too bad no Russian films made our lists, otherwise that might have been funny. Please read Part 1 if you haven’t already.

But to recap: Brian picked movies that may or may not exist. McFilmerstein picked films that made him cry. Menopause is really getting to him. McFilmerstein is Brian's father and cut off his hand. With the hand he still has, Brian is hanging off a cliff ready to tell you his top 5 movies. McFilmerstein is combing through his blackberry contacts to see what other names he can drop as this will be the determining factor in his remaining choices.

Okay, if you’ll remember, McFilmerstein's #6 was ADVENTURELAND.

BRIAN: Yay ADVENTURELAND! Ah, nostalgia for the 80’s… I did a lot of coke in grade school, that shit ain’t funny.

5. AVATAR. The movie doesn’t have much staying power – the story is too stale from repeated use and the characters don’t have any of the iconic presence of The Terminator or Ripley. I think I’m okay with that. It is a pure movie-going experience for the experience itself. The fact that the movie doesn’t live on in my head the way Frenchy McQuiet moments do isn’t a bad thing: this is a movie that demands to be experienced. The memory of it should only pale in comparison.

MCFILMERSTEIN: First of all, I’d like to commend you for finally selecting a film that was made for more than $18 and the remnants of a coat pocket. Now, you realize that putting this on your list will get you kicked out of the Cassavetes AV Club, right? Be careful – this one made some money, which may go against your sensibilities.

As for the flick, I’ve already spoken my piece about it in our last post (http://bit.ly/aFYbVu), but more than that, if you look back at our big AVATAR post, you’ll find a very thorough explanation of why it shouldn’t be this high on your list. That being said, with you choosing a big budget studio blockbuster for your top ten list, I guess beggars shouldn’t be choosers and I should just be happy you didn’t put an Iranian film about a rock as your #5.

Speaking of which…

5. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. “You probably heard we ain’t in the prisoner-takin’ business; we in the killin’ Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’.” Brad Pitt was utterly ridiculous in his role as Aldo Raine, as were most of the Basterds themselves. With the exception of the basement scene, this movie, for me, was about three people – Mélanie Laurent’s Shosanna Dreyfus, Academy Award-winner Christoph Waltz’s Hans Landa (oops, did I spoil the surprise?) and Daniel Brühl’s Fredrick Zoller.

Before I get to all of them, though, I want to point out that this film should put all the naysayers to rest about whether or not Tarantino is the real thing. Like it or not, and many still don’t for whatever reason, he has now helmed RESERVOIR DOGS, PULP FICTION, JACKIE BROWN and KILL BILL, all of which go on the top ten lists of their respective years. And that’s forgetting about all the other fun projects he’s had a hand in – the script for TRUE ROMANCE, the best scene in FOUR ROOMS, NATURAL BORN KILLERS, FROM DUSK TIL DAWN, etc, etc.

He’s been around in our public consciousness as a filmmaker and as a generational voice for nearly 20 years and still seems fresh whenever he comes out with a movie. Actors still clamor to work with him, financiers still jump to bankroll his movies and studios still give him final cut.

Anyway, my point is that this movie should show those in doubt that he is just one of those guys that grabs a pen, churns out a script, gets behind the camera, and simply knocks it out of the park time after time. Sure, people will say that GRINDHOUSE ain’t that great, or some other such nonsense, but that’s like me talking up Billy Wilder (the best director of all-time for those of you not in the know) and having the response be, “Yeah, but IRMA LA DOUCE wasn’t the best movie ever.” Okay, but it’s still better than most for what it was trying to be! And so was GRINDHOUSE, so if that’s the best ammunition you have against QT, step off and stop being such a hater.

But, as usual, I digress, Waltz’s Landa was one of the best characters of the year performed by one of the best actors of the year. His emotional ups and downs, his genteel brutality, his grasp of seemingly every language under the sun made him so unique and interesting and just plain cool that I am now able to say a phrase I thought I never would: “My favorite character of the year was a Nazi!”

Laurent’s Dreyfus may seem simple, but she encompassed fear, regret, mourning, anger, shame and a thirst for revenge in ways that most actors can’t on their best day. The way her neck tensed up at just the right moments – almost imperceptible if you weren’t looking for it – revealed volumes about a character that could have been very stock.

The last guy, Brühl’s Zoller, was a surprise to me. I didn’t realize the depths that existed within the character until my second or third viewing, and they surprised the hell out of me. This guy who was branded a hero by the Nazis and reveled in and enjoyed his fame (or infamy) also hated that he had become a star by being a murderer. He understood the blood-lust the Nazi high command had and – despite his hatred for their ideals – knew that he had to embrace his label of favorite son in order to do better things in the future. And then, in the end, when push came to shove, after being unable to watch a filmic recreation of his own massacre of the American soldiers, he then succumbed to his murderous and violent nature when rejected by a woman! What a great representation of the struggle we all have within ourselves… cut me off and I may let it go because I’m a good person and maybe you didn’t do it on purpose… but if you cut me off and then flip me the bird to illustrate that you really did it deliberately, and I then see you later in a place where there are no witnesses… you may get a hurt brought down upon you that harkens back to biblical tales. Sweet.

Enough of this rambling. What’s your #4?

BRIAN: Funny you should ask.

4. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. Well, I’m not so sure he seems all that fresh with every new movie. Upon hearing that he was at work on a WWII movie that he was calling his masterpiece, I was incredibly curious to see how such a pulpy, movie geek would treat such heavy subject matter. I was sort of expecting, maybe hoping for, the maturation PT Anderson demonstrated when he did THERE WILL BE BLOOD. Nope, still the same pulpy filmmaker – WWII is little more than the backdrop of another revenge tale. Same shit, different time period. So we don’t get to witness a great filmmaker becoming better, but we do get a great filmmaker remaining great. No one can build the suspense in a conversation quite like him.

And other fans may attest to the film’s supposed deeper, subversive meaning. I don’t think I buy it. In fact, doing so only opens it up to more charges about how superficial or incomplete his message might be. Best to take it as a mere genre exercise, and here’s why: after the endless spate of self-serious Oscar bait attempting to memorialize the Holocaust, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS unwittingly offers a better alternative in coping with such unspeakable tragedy: trivializing it. And sometimes, that’s exactly why we go to the movies.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Wow! I really like that we’re kind of on the same page here, although I don’t totally agree with your assessment of the film. It would be like watching PULP FICTION and pretending that it didn’t have storylines that touched on redemption, or that there wasn’t a resurrection theme running throughout. I don’t know if we should give Tarantino all the credit, but to not give him any credit is, I think, a tad overboard. Anyway, I’m glad we liked the same movie.

4. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. I’ve talked a lot about this one in our other posts, but it bears repeating. Brilliant, moving, deep and affecting. Because I’ve already said so much, I’ll just point out that making a fantastical movie about non-human creatures that act very much like humans and then look to a human child to save them from their own humanity… whew! Never thought I’d see the day. When I first heard they were making this film, I was worried. How do you take a book that holds such great memories for me (and millions of others) and turn it into a feature-length movie? Is it by taking a big dump on the author’s chest, a la THE CAT IN THE HAT or THE GRINCH? Is it by being super faithful, and therefore, making something that never should have been made, a la BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA or CHARLOTTE’S WEB? Is it by throwing tons of money behind it and making it into such a spectacle that it doesn’t matter that it came from a book to begin with a la THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE or the new PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTNING THIEF? Or do you do something more subversive like taking said tome and turning it into something deep and different and interesting and awesome? Two movies I have not seen, FANTASTIC MR. FOX and CORALINE, apparently do just that, but I can’t imagine that they do it even half as well as Dave Eggers and Spike Jonze. ‘Nuff said. Moving on.

BRIAN: Despite the titular pulp in PULP FICTION, it’s a deeper film than INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. I’m not stripping Tarantino of any credit, I don’t think. The story itself has layers of complexity, but I think the meta-movie subversion that many fans attest to is overreaching in its interpretation.

As for WILD THINGS, yeah, I think it will be a watermark in film adaptation. It’s a great example of a screenwriter understanding the material beyond just the text, but uncovering the essence of a piece and extrapolating from that. It manages to be wildly interpretive while remaining respectful. As for your not being able to imagine FANTASTIC MR. FOX doing it half as well…

3. FANTASTIC MR. FOX. It does do it half as well, actually much more than half. It doesn’t have quite the level of difficulty that Eggers and Jonze had in adapting it, but Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach do just fine. I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know exactly which parts belong to the original source, but I can absolutely recognize the fingerprints of Anderson and Baumbach all over the project. Their intelligence, understanding of family dynamic, and original humor are evident throughout.

Wes Anderson’s films are controlled and composed to the very last inch of the screen. Thus, a stop-motion animation film, in which every movement is painstakingly altered 24 frames per second, must be in some ways a perfection of his vision. With no room for accident, the film’s movie language is stripped to its etymological roots, laying bare the function of his go-to techniques. It’s just like the scene in the movie when the animals tap into their true potential when they recall what the scientific Latin name of their species is – this film is Wes Anderson’s imagination fully realized.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Wow. Can’t wait. Another one I have at home that I really have to get on. Also, I’ve already made it clear that I haven’t seen it yet, so thanks for ruining that scene where the animals tap into their true potential for me. By the way, Darth Vader is Luke’s father and Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze. Dick.

3. UP IN THE AIR. If you’d ask me to make this list last month, this would have been my #1 of the year. Maybe even last week. But in the interim, I really started thinking about what affected me the most in cinema in 2009, and suddenly, certain things started to slide. It’s still phenomenal (as evidenced by being my #3 of the year), and I should make it clear that it dropped two slots by virtue of the other two films that have yet to be named being so good, not by this lacking anything. I know without even seeing your next two selections that this won’t make it anywhere near your top ten, and that’s okay. This is not a film for everyone.

Yes, I can fall back on the tried and true company line that this is a film that really is “of the moment,” but that’s not why it spoke to me. Despite touching on economic woes, the recession and all things layoff, this movie seemed timeless to me. How many of us have compartmentalized our lives, only to have something (or someone) rock us off our foundation? How many of us have believed ourselves to be happy, only to realize that we were, in fact, missing something fundamental and necessary? Tons of us! And probably tons more that haven’t had the revelation yet.

This movie hinges on a guy that is doing his best when the world is at its worst. That, as people are falling by his hand – lives ruined, family’s falling apart – he is chasing a goal that couldn’t be more frivolous and pathetic. He doesn’t even realize that the goal he’s chasing, while useless in the long run, is all about him leaving his mark on the world so that people knew he was actually there. Because he is desperate to make a connection. To have a lasting purpose.

I love the fact that he is oblivious to the fact that the new girl’s idea of firing people via iChat is just pushing the world further into his already-isolated corner, and that while he claims to revel in seclusion, he is desperate for the human contact he gets with the people he terminates, if only for a moment or two.

People have complained that the ending is ambiguous, leaving you with a sense of longing for a resolution, or that things in the film are a bit too calculated… To them I say two things – one, the name of the film should have given you a hint that it was not going to be handed to you wrapped in a neat little bow… and two, shut up. And yes, I'm talking to you.

BRIAN: Yeah! I take full credit in knocking this overpraised film off your top spot! For the uninitiated reader, see our previous exchanges about the film and you’ll see why. Or to summarize: You write above, “not a film for everyone.” I say that’s bullshit: the film was meant for everyone and therefore too afraid to offend anyone, playing it safe every step of the way.

That being said, it’s a good movie. It makes my “it was fine in 2009” list. Here are the others: (500) DAYS OF SUMMER, BRIGHT STAR, MEDICINE FOR MELANCHOLY, HARRY POTTER 6, and UP. So there you go. Boy, I really hope none of these make your list. That would be a travesty.

2. THE WHITE RIBBON. Reducing this film to the thematic logline critics have been attaching it to – that it’s a look at the roots of Fascism – is a bit tricky. Sure, it very well might be, but Michael Haneke only lightly traces the causal relationship of the film’s events to the rise of the Nazi party. Instead, he presents circumstantial evidence, with the audience as jury to give their own verdict on the film’s events. The title refers to the ribbon tied around the preacher’s son’s bicep to remind him of his “purity” (and also tied to a bed post at night to prevent him from masturbating – did I mention it’s also a hilarious comedy?). It’s an allusion to the swastika arm band and the purity of race that identify the Nazi party – a lovely example of the understated foreshadowing of events that happen well after the movie’s setting is over.

MCFILMERSTEIN: The real travesty is that you include UP IN THE AIR and UP amongst your “fine in 2009” list. I think you may be in full-on anti-popularity mode here – it stars superstar George Clooney (and not as an animated character), therefore it can’t be in my top ten. It comes from movie juggernaut Disney, therefore even though it was clearly a masterpiece, it can’t be praised.

By the way, I think you couldn’t be more wrong about UP IN THE AIR being made for everyone. The fact that everyone (with a smattering of cynics here and there being the exception) seems to like it is not a weakness! As in his previous films (which should have been much more polarizing because of the potentially controversial subject matters), Reitman defies the odds and manages to cull together a film that works on all levels. To fault him for that would be like faulting Da Vinci for the Mona Lisa being too popular.

As for THE WHITE RIBBON… I know you love Haneke, and I know you love his lack of resolution, but here I found it pretty excruciating. There are very few filmmakers in the world today that can hit you over the head with an obvious message, while at the same time revealing nothing. Haneke is #1 when it comes to that. As usual, his characters are despicable – was there a sympathetic one in the bunch? I get that as bad things happen, we are more likely to become afraid and give over to the authorities. I get that our own rotten nature as people (and yes, I think that Haneke believes that we’re all horrible) leads us to allow a greater evil to take over… an evil that may have more power, but may also lead to – gasp – things like the Holocaust. Blah blah blah blah. This movie was fucking boring.

Speaking of movies that are the opposite of boring …

2. THE HURT LOCKER. What a film. Finally, someone cracks the “how to tell the Iraq War story onscreen” puzzle. By not addressing the politics of the situation and just making a movie about pure, unadulterated war! I know that this is the opposite of what you said when you named it #6 on your list (“The other Iraq war movies got knocked for either being too polemical or conveniently sidestepping the politics altogether. THE HURT LOCKER does neither. For a soldier in an all voluntary army, politics is not why we fight; instead, war is a drug.”).

As a former soldier myself, I can say that whether or not the service is voluntary is rarely the issue. Once you’re in it, you crave the excitement of something other than sitting around the barracks, or standing guard. I remember being excited about just shooting a gun in a firing range, because it seemed cool and dangerous, even in a controlled environment. It is a drug, and it always be one, no matter where or when in the world you are. Even if you hate it, even if you fear it, even if you don’t believe in the cause you’re fighting for, even if you can’t wait to get out and go back to your normal life, it is still a drug. And the more we become a society where first-person shooter games and paintball guns become a way of life, the more that drug will take hold. Half the people who join the army now do it, in addition to their other reasons, because it’s like living out a video game fantasy. And this movie is the quintessential version of that.

This movie could take place in any country, in any war, in any year. Hell, on any planet with any species. This is a movie that could even be remade by other countries as an indigenous story without having to alter so much as a word. The characters were people, not American soldiers. The disarming of each subsequent bomb akin to potentially deadly art. The outpouring of emotion, however manly and quiet, universal.

Plus, tension like I’ve never seen on screen. Kathryn Bigelow (who must have been born with very good genes) directs the hell out of this movie. If she doesn’t win best director this year, it will be another blight on the Academy’s record. Even people who don’t like this movie (and I don’t know many) were gripping their armrests in the theater as Jeremy Renner took off his flack jacket to get into that car.

I could go on and on about this flick, but I’ll just end with this… I’ve been thinking about this movie since I saw it. And I probably won’t stop anytime soon. It somehow manages to be both delicious junk food and healthy brain food all at once. And maybe it’s about time we learn, as a filmmaking community, to straddle that line a little more.

BRIAN: Oh, come on, if I was really guilty of faulting movies for their popularity, why did I like AVATAR more than you? Ditto THE DARK KNIGHT, which you bear some sort of personal resentment towards.

I will finally concede one point on UP IN THE AIR though: I can appreciate Reitman’s attempt at making the film as accessible as possible (if seen in the tradition of 40’s studio system movies), especially after hearing about the darker tone of the novel it was based on. He is taking purposeful steps in making the material more relatable, even if that means playing it safe throughout. It’s the exact same way America can appreciate Jay Leno.

I guess that was pretty passive aggressive. I feel good about it. Hey, you just compared the film to Mona Fucking Lisa; I figured I go the other way.

Resolving the mystery in THE WHITE RIBBON is not simply Haneke’s way of saying “Fuck you” to conventional audience expectations. It wouldn’t have made any sense to identify who the culprit of the violent acts was. His whole point is to suggest a social responsibility, not just an individual one. It would be like saying Adolf Hitler is the only man responsible for the atrocities of WWII, as if he were the devil incarnate. Furthermore, by doing so, he is not pinning the roots of evil on “the rotten nature” of humanity, but rather examining how evil can sprout from sequestered, innocuous settings. If anything, he sees the historically vilified people as victims here, not horrible perpetrators just following their inhumane instincts. And while there are some despicable characters, there are plenty of sympathetic figures in the movie – many Haneke followers and critics have noted the unexpected warmth of the film, surely not an emotion the director is known for. The romance between the narrator and his love interest is surprisingly sweet, as are several of the interactions between the kids and their siblings or parents. As for the film being fucking boring, I’ll admit – there really wasn’t enough locker room towel-snapping done with the titular white ribbon. Why didn’t the kids use the white ribbon to strangle their overbearing parents in their sleep? I can’t believe none of the characters figured out how to turn that white ribbon into a machine gun to blow up the bad guy with lasers.

HURT LOCKER! Great movie, but I should clarify the quote you misread. I’m saying that it doesn’t get political (which is what you’re also saying), but that it also doesn’t sidestep – or conveniently ignore – the politics the way a film like JARHEAD does, seeming more like an exercise in filmmaking than a movie about war. The way the film does this is by acknowledging the political vacuum of combat for these soldiers – when we get glimpses of their civilian life, it is decidedly apolitical, particularly in contrast to the crusaders they are fighting. Kathryn Bigelow has spoken about the distinction of this war being fought by, for the first time, an all volunteer army, and thus the motivation for these soldiers to enlist is central to the film’s thesis. There may be universalities shared among the soldiers of different wars, but I do think Bigelow is specifically drawing a character portrait of the American soldier in today’s wars. And that’s how, for me, she was able to finally crack the Iraq War film.

1. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. Fantasies primarily function as an escape – and there have been plenty of movies and books to explore this concept. This movie (much more so than the short book) exposes the limits of that function. The fantasy sequence is a product of Max’s imagination, and the filmmakers never forget that Max is a child. They could have opted to fabricate an Alice in Wonderland type narrative with characters and setpieces far more sophisticated than a child’s mind could ever dream up. While it would have arguably made for a more appealing movie, this would have been false. Instead, there are gaps and holes in the plot; the story turns on somewhat arbitrary events, as Max is likely making it up as it goes along (just like the rambling story he tells his mom in the beginning about the grown-up vampires biting into buildings).

Most importantly, the characters in the fantasy are half-formed in their identity and their motivation. They vaguely resemble the people in Max’s real life, and he fills in what he doesn’t understand about their motives with his own. A key process of child development is when the kid gains a more advanced form of empathy, able to understand others as well as himself. The “pretend” that Max is playing out in his head gives him a better understanding of the world. Thus, while the film surveys the limits of fantasy as escape, it also explores a different function of fantasy: working out the complexities of waking life. Fittingly, the film is always grounded in reality (as I’ve written in earlier posts, I’ve never seen a fantasy this tactile in its realization), and the fantasy never strays too far away from its inspiration. The reason Max’s journey must end is due to his inability to sustain that fantasy, but also: the kid got hungry. There’s a running motif of characters threatening to eat each other, perhaps a representation of his appetite. The last shot is of Max eating his dessert.

Spike Jonze’s goal was to capture the feeling of being a 9-year old. Given how adult audience members are reduced to tears by the end of it, I say he succeeded.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Not to beat a dead horse, but I still don’t think Reitman set out to make UP IN THE AIR accessible – the fact that it resonated for many different demographics speaks to his skill as a filmmaker. And yes, Mona Lisa was over the top. But, damn – Leno? That was below the belt!

As for THE WHITE RIBBON, I don’t disagree with most of what you’re saying. You actually are saying, more or less, what I said… but that doesn’t change the fact that I still found the film boring, as I do a lot of Haneke’s stuff. I can’t help it. A little machine gun laser masturbation bad guy towel-snap strangling might have helped! Next time I see Haneke, I’ll mention to him that you suggested it.

And I did indeed misread your quote on HURT LOCKER. A rare admission of fault, so savor it. In the end, it sounds like we’re on the same page. What a nice way to approach the end of this particular blog entry. With mutual appreciation (zing!). That being said, if Bigelow is going to claim that her thesis applies only to Iraq, my retort would be thus: Spoken like someone that’s never been in combat.

I have to admit I love that our respective number ones are both films that could easily have been mistaken for kid’s movies, but transcend categorization, affecting adults as well as children. Which brings me to…

1. UP. UP! UP UP UP UP! I’m going to keep this short, and just say that you need to see this movie. If you haven’t, you’re missing out. The opening sequence, almost entirely sans sound, aside from Michael Giacchino’s beautiful Oscar-winning score (oops – another spoiler!), in which we watch the courtship, romance, aging and eventual parting of Carl and Ellie is one of the most beautiful sequences I have ever seen committed to film.

Pete Docter and Bob Peterson have made what is quite possibly my favorite animated film of all-time. Admittedly, I have a strange list of favorite animated films (with THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE and MULAN at the top), but this one had such heart and soul and brains that it leaps into the top spot.

One of my favorite things about the flick is that there are so many elements that, admittedly, shouldn’t work together – an old widower making his house fly with helium balloons, a weird loner Asian boy scout, a maniacal octogenarian vying for glory, dogs that talk, a giant big colorful flightless bird – but damn if they not only work… they soar.

Beyond the awesome visuals (some of the best I’ve ever seen – you can really tell they went to South America to location scout), the great characters (when was the last time an old man with a walker was at the heart of a cartoon) and the amazing creativity (whoever thought up the interior of the Zeppelin deserves an Oscar for production design), this movie succeeds because of the genuinely heartwarming and touching story. I cannot tell you how many times I cried during this movie, but watching it in 3-D was made all the more difficult by me having to remove my special glasses to wipe my eyes every 10 minutes.

The movie doesn’t shy away from real fears, real issues or real sadness, which are all things that scare the hell out of studio executives. I credit this production team for going there. Over and over again.

When a talking dog brings you to tears just by being honest, you know you are watching a masterpiece.

P.S. When I walked out of the El Capitan Theater, the first thing I did was go next door and buy an UP hat, to display my support for the film. I think that may be why it got a Best Picture nomination. Thank you, Pixar. Keep up the good work.

[Editor’s note: And that’s it for I Liked The Trailer Better’s Top Ten List of 2009! What’d you think? Feel free to post your own top ten in the comments section. And check out their runners-up below. And don’t worry about who the editor was this time. Stop being petty.]

BRIAN: My runner-ups:  HUMPDAY. Funny, honest, and daring. STILL WALKING. Modern-day Ozu (Japanesey McQuiet). PONYO. Round tummy. TWO LOVERS. Team Gwyneth. THE HEADLESS WOMAN. Lucretia Martel's follow-up to her masterpiece, The Holy Girl.

MCFILMERSTEIN: And here are mine in alphabetical order:  (500) DAYS OF SUMMER. It made me smile. CRUDE. Great documentary from a great documentarian. THE HANGOVER. I like laughing. SIN NOMBRE. Team Cary. Straight up stunning work. Probably should have made my top ten. STATE OF PLAY. Totally underrated flick.

Belated Top Ten(s) of 2009 part one (#10 - #6)

2010-02-11T02:22:00.000-08:00

Welcome to I Liked The Trailer Better’s belated Top Ten of 2009 round-up. This is part one – selections ten through six. They will be listing off their favorite movies in ascending order. Will they agree on anything? Has McFilmerstein seen any of Brian's picks? How high will TRANSFORMERS 2 be on McFilmerstein's list? Oh my god, the suspense is killing us!

[editor’s note: the editor for the above paragraph was Brian]

BRIAN: First, I want to give props to our editor. He’s brilliant.

10. A SERIOUS MAN. The Coen Bros. have been knocked for the cruel misanthropy in their films, inflicting pain for sake of comedy or condescending to their Midwestern characters. Well, this film addresses that bleak worldview. It’s a modern day tale of Job, and the Coens take delight in finding new ways to make a man suffer. Suddenly, their trademark misanthropy makes a whole lot of sense when they're essentially playing god.

MCFILMERSTEIN: That editor, by the way, can suck it.

As for A SERIOUS MAN, I am super sorry to say that I haven’t seen it, which starts out belated top ten of the year list off with a real bang. I can’t discuss it. I can’t critique it. I can’t argue with you, leading to hours of fun for our readers. I can, on the other hand, let them all know that I do have a copy of it at home, and intend to watch it, at which time we will have a rousing debate about it, to their delight.

Now that that run-on sentence is over, my turn!

10. THE BLIND SIDE. Yes, you heard me right. The blatantly commercial, overtly sugary and unashamedly heartstring-yanking flick that took middle America by storm is my tenth favorite movie of the year. It was a tight race, with a few films inched out that people will undoubtedly yell at me about.

The interesting thing to me is that a bit ago I ridiculed the Academy for nominating THE BLIND SIDE for Best Picture, and now I’m making it one of my ten best of the year. So I retract my afore-mentioned snarkiness. I get it. It affected me. It made me cry. It made me laugh. It made me – amazingly – like Sandra Bullock.

Seriously, though. This is one movie that just simply touched me and made me smile, in spite (or maybe because) of it’s awesome feel-good clichéd syrupy goodness.

BRIAN: Wow. Our tenth pick is a nice summation of how the two of us enjoy movies:

A SERIOUS MAN – what an apt description for my pretentious taste!

THE BLIND SIDE – the only way your favorite movies work is when the audience is blind to the artificial manipulation of an audience’s emotions! Fuck yeah!

And another thing I’m curious about: the movie made you laugh and smile? Aren’t you repeating yourself here? When a movie makes me cry, does it score extra points for making snot come out my nose? Shut up with your stoopid BLIND SIDE. That’s my argument, since I haven’t seen it.

9. ADVENTURELAND. One of the best coming-of-age films I’ve seen in a while. When you’re growing up, sometimes it’s a lot easier to be defined by what you’re not than what you are. The characters don’t quite know what they want to be, but they are definitely not carnival barking wage slaves, even if that Adventureland uniform offers them the only real identity they can hang onto. The film also shows how fun it is to be miserable, a coming-of-age rite of passage. The characters root in their misery, wallow in it: the mixtape Jesse Eisenberg’s character gives to Bella (…wait, that’s not right) is labeled “J's Favorite Bummer Songs.”* And this job is essentially a bummer gig: it’s the perfect way to harness and coddle their anxiety and frustrations. When you’re confused and rudderless in life, cleaning puke off a ride seat is the only thing that makes sense.

*Great fucking soundtrack, by the way. The Replacements are my favorite 80’s band, and it’s nice to hear “Bastards of Young” open the movie, and then to hear “Unsatisfied” accompany the climax.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Love love love ADVENTURELAND. I’ll get there soon enough. I almost don’t want to comment on it now because of what I have saved up for when I get to it on my list. So, for now, I’m just moving on to…

9. AVATAR. Another big dumb mainstream studio movie! Yay my non-indie sensibilities! I don’t have too much to write about this one since there’s a whole entry of me talking and bitching about the flick. Suffice it to say that it is technically amazing, visually stunning, big, dumb and studio. Yay money.

BRIAN: I feel like I’m writing a bit more than you are in these entries, no? It’s time to ask myself, Am I getting out of this relationship as much as I’m putting in? Is it something I’m doing wrong? Have I gotten too comfortable and put on a few pounds? Is it my cankles? (Write MORE, you douchebag!)

That being said, I’ll pull the same thing you did about ADVENTURELAND for AVATAR. I almost don’t want to comment on it now because of what I have saved up for when I get to it on my list. So, for now, I’m just moving on to…

8. 35 SHOTS OF RUM. French filmmaker Claire Denis’ film about the relationship between a widower and his college-age, live-in daughter is an homage to the great Japanese director, Yasujiro Ozu. Gracefully visual with very minimal dialogue. So exacting is her filmmaking that the story’s conflict remains largely unspoken without ever becoming ambiguous. The film has also been noted for its look at how France’s population is slowly changing. The cast of characters is almost entirely black. Denis returns to her exploration of her country’s history, as its remnants appear in the background. The daughter sits through a classroom discussion about colonialism, just a few generations removed from the material. But in her unspoken desire to break free from the codependent, near incestuous relationship she shares with her father, history is transposed onto her reluctant struggle for independence.

MCFILMERSTEIN: What the fuck are you talking about? 35 shots of rum is what I had last night, not a film. You fucking intellectual, wanna-be hipster douche. Did you make this film up? I’m a film guy and I’ve never heard of this thing. I read the first two lines of your entry and then stopped because are you serious??? Then I tried to keep reading… and fell asleep. “Gracefully visual with very minimal *SNORE* See what you did? I couldn’t even finish the sentence long enough to close my quotes on that one. Yikes. Suffice it to say I have not seen this. Neither have you probably. Trying to seem all artsy fartsy holier than thou. Is this because my first two choices are patently commercial? Are you just trying to show our readers how much smarter than me you are? I went to collige – I is smart!

And talk about a nice summation of how the two of us enjoy movies! AVATAR vs. Frenchy McQuiet. Fuck yeah indeed.

8. CRAZY HEART. Before you even attack, I’ll acknowledge that this is one of those indie films that is basically mainstream. Yes, I admit it. I can pretend that this one brings me down to your hipster silence-is-golden level, but in the end we all know it’s still The Dude rocking out and humping Secretary with The Recruit and The Apostle jumping in for color.

And I fucking love it. The performance Jeff Bridges gives in this thing is amazing. It, along with T-Bone Burnett’s music, makes this #8 on my list. Without those two elements, this doesn’t make my list at all.

I’ve always loved Jeff Bridges. I loved him way back in LAST PICTURE SHOW. Loved him in TRON. STARMAN. JAGGED EDGE. FABULOUS BAKER BOYS. THE FISHER KING. And his performance in FEARLESS is one of the all-time greatest, if you ask me. The man made me cry in STICK IT, for God’s sake. The point is, he’s amazing, and I’ve only scratched the surface of his amazing performances. Then I worked with him, which was a special treat. I discovered that on top of being an amazing actor, he’s an amazing guy. Great on his feet, cool as an ice cream sandwich fresh out of the freezer, and collaborative like you wouldn’t believe.

And after all that, he still managed to surprise me and move me in new ways in this flick. His Bad Blake is an iconic character, mostly because of his flourishes – the way he hangs the phone on a lampshade while someone is saying something he doesn’t want to hear, the way he pukes into a garbage can and then reaches into it afterwards to fish out his shades that were on top of his head when he leaned in. Stuff that I guarantee you was not in the script, that he brought to the table.

And he can sing. I mean sing. No joke, kids. Buy the soundtrack. I know I will.

I give AN EDUCATION a hard time because it’s essentially a fine (but not amazing) movie anchored by an incredible performance. This one is much the same, but somehow his performance is so outstanding that it pushes the whole endeavor (that would be fine but not amazing without him) into the amazing category.

There, I wrote a bunch. Happy? I’ve given you plenty of time to start writing about your next pretentious movie that I’ve never heard of. Zing!

BRIAN: I don’t have too much interest in seeing this movie, but “The Dude rocking out and humping Secretary with The Recruit and The Apostle jumping in for color” is probably the best logline I’ve ever heard. I guess it’s pretty fun just watching a movie for the performance’s sake, though. Back in the day, I watched SPECIES just for Natasha Henstridge. Same thing, right?

Okay, you’re gonna hate me.

7. BEESWAX. Andrew Bujalski’s third film is a bit of a departure. The naturalistic speech patterns and rambling flow of dialogue are still there, but the one-take, handheld camerawork is replaced with more traditional scene coverage. The camera is mostly static; the scene cuts back and forth between the actors. The result is, just like when I saw his debut, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Because the film no longer has the air of seeming improvised, the meandering conversations have a sense of deliberation, which is why some find this film to be Bujalski’s least accessible – almost purposefully drama-deprived. I found this choice to be part of an interesting evolution of a filmmaker like no other, and I found the evolution to match the maturation of his characters. His films have always been great at capturing the rhythm of life, so it’s fitting that his style take the plodding form of his characters’ adult, working lifestyle.

And once again, modeling his characters on real people he’s known for a while, and then casting those non-actors in those roles, yields another unsurpassable character study. You walk away knowing these characters better than characters in almost any movie. But even more than that: you know them better than some people in your own life.

MCFILMERSTEIN: Now here’s where I get to surprise you. I liked BEESWAX. Seriously. I did. Not top ten of the year liked, but liked. Thought it was a solid, interesting, indie, mumblecore flick. I did appreciate the connection I felt to the characters, and I did appreciate the kind of raw starkness of Bujalski’s world. There’s other stuff I didn’t love as much as you, but overall, I give it a thumbs up.

And now I feel closer to you. Honestly, there’s no one I would rather write a blog with. Awwwwwwwwwww.

On to my equally introspective, deep, and indie-friendly choice…

7. STAR TREK. Yay! Fun! Stuff blowing up! Stuff flying at warp speed! Stuff punching and kicking! Stuff warping! Stuff… um… driving off of cliffs…

Did I know what the hell was going on with Eric Bana’s revenge story? NO! Did I understand their concept of time travel? NO! Did I love the constant bombardment of fake lens flares? NO! Did I enjoy the almost total lack of reverence to science and moral quandaries that made the TV show so interesting? NO! Did I really need to see the characters as children? NO! Did I give a shit about the sometimes total lack of logic? NO!

Did I care about all those things I just said “NO!” to? NOT AT ALL!

Another big budget, studio, fun, action-packed, loud, energetic… smart, thrilling, epic movie. Didn’t expect those last three adjectives, did ya?

There’s not too much to say about this flick, except to say that I will gladly watch the sequel and hope that it still has the same sense of fun and ambition.

BRIAN: Omg, re: BEESWAX, hold me? Tighter.

I have to admit, I fell asleep during a lot of STAR TREK (Jesus, I’m drawing myself as an indie caricature here). Not because it was bad or boring – in fact, I liked what I saw – I was just dead tired when I saw it. Plus, for a J.J. Abrams project, there was no Keri Russell. Unforgivable. Felicity 4ever. I definitely plan to watch it, though.

6. THE HURT LOCKER. I had a few problems with this movie. There are some movie-ish plot clichés that would be more forgivable if Kathryn Bigelow’s direction wasn’t so grittily realistic. It also seemed to drive home its central idea – that war is a drug – over and over again, without really deepening that idea as it went on. The last reel seemed extraneous as a result – the chase sequence that results in a soldier’s near death seemed nothing more than a climactic way to further drive home that point.

But: for the pure experience of what it must be like serving in Iraq, this is one of the great war films. The other Iraq war movies got knocked for either being too polemical or conveniently sidestepping the politics altogether. THE HURT LOCKER does neither. For a soldier in an all voluntary army, politics is not why we fight; instead, war is a drug. If the movie seemed too one-note to me, maybe that was exactly right: after that amazing first sequence, we spend the rest of the movie just chasing the high.

MCFILMERSTEIN: So, just to recap: foreign and graceful = you’re all ears, STAR TREK = sleepy time? You are one fascinating creature…

As for your number 6, now we’re talking! THE HURT LOCKER is awesome! Great great flick. I’ll get to that soon enough on my own list.

In the meantime:

6. ADVENTURELAND. Told you I would come back to it eventually! I guess I just liked it more than you did. This was one that really hit home for me. I was a dork in high school. I couldn’t wait to get out. Graduated early just to get away from the same people Jesse Eisenberg was trying to escape. It was like eating a great stew – nice meaty pieces of funny with just the right amount of nostalgia, a quart of really spot-on acting, an ounce of intelligence, half a cup of honest emotion and a heaping helping of awesome soundtrack. Garnish with something sweet and something bittersweet. Serve over something poignant.

Sure, we’ve seen coming of age stories before. We’ve even seen this coming of age story before. But it doesn’t matter. This is so well made, with such great writing, acting and directing, that it seems like I’m watching this genre for the first time.

On a personal level, I connected to so many parts of this movie. When James finds out his degree in comparative literature won’t help him with shit in the real world, all I could think of was my own English major (luckily coupled with a fine arts major) and how it didn’t help me with shit in the real world. When James had to get a crappy job to make ends meet, I was reminded of my own time working at a mini-golf establishment where the highlight of my day was being able to take a free mini-pizza from the snack bar around lunchtime. When James liked a girl that ended up sleeping with the asshole instead, I was reminded of every girl I liked in high school!

But I digress. This flick is imminently watchable because it doesn’t matter who you are – there is someone in it that represents you. And none of the characters, even the afore-mentioned asshole, or the blonde bimbo bombshell, or the moron best friend, collapse under the weight of cliché or being villainized, both of which would have been very easy to do. In giving these characters three full dimensions, it strengthens the characters that are at the fore-front, making it that much more relatable.

Thank you, Greg Mottola, for giving me a slice of my own childhood, but letting it have a happy ending.

And that’s it for the first half of our top ten of the year! More to come, as we move on to numbers 5 through 1. Hope you guys are enjoying it thus far. We’d love to hear what you think of our picks so far – feel free to comment like crazy. Speaking of which, the editor for this final paragraph is crazy awesome.

[editor’s note: the editor for the above paragraph was McFilmerstein]

The 2010 Oscar Nominations

2010-02-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

INDIE: So the nominations came out this morning. I don’t really care, but out of obligation to all the readers who are only reading this because we just badgered and begged them to, I feel a moral responsibility to discuss. This is for you, guys. Thank you.

And it’s not that I don’t care because I’ve become disillusioned about the whole process (well, maybe); I just feel like 2009 was a pretty weak year for movies, and there’s no film I’m all that excited about. Hey, Academy, great timing in expanding the best picture nominees to 10. Critics’ top 10 lists are always more interesting to me than Oscar nominees – am I alone here? By the way, we never did our 2009 top ten lists. We should do that next.

So how ‘bout we just go through and list off our choices for most egregious snubs and inclusions independently. We’ll post them at the same time and compare/contrast afterwards. That way, you can’t copy off mine. Cool?

In the meantime, dear readers, you can watch this clip to prime you for all the hate that's about to spew from our keyboards:

STUDIO: Before I do my list, I just want to point out that even Jack almost vomited before he said CRASH. He had to literally hide his mouth with the envelope as his gag reflex kicked in.

As for what you were saying, I hate to admit that I do still care. I still get a jolt out of the whole thing. Even after the year FORREST GUMP beat out PULP FICTION and THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, even after the year that TITANIC beat out L.A. CONFIDENTIAL, even after the year that CHICAGO beat out THE PIANIST, and - yes - even after the year that CRASH beat out BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (man, why do I care anymore?), I still give a shit or two about the Oscars. At this point, I feel like the only person in the industry that still watches them or wants to throw a party about them.

Here's the sad truth - I was up this morning when the nominations were being read. Go on and judge me.

And I happen to not think that 2009 was that weak a year for movies. Any year that yields this many movies that made me cry can't be all bad (and I mean "made me cry" in the good "UP moved me" kind of way, not the "WOLVERINE destroyed another of my childhood memories" kind of way).

Let's be honest - there are very few years in recent memory that would warrant ten nominations. I would have to go all the way back to 1999 - the year of FIGHT CLUB, THE MATRIX, AMERICAN BEAUTY, BEING JOHN MALKOVICH, THE SIXTH SENSE, MAGNOLIA, THREE KINGS, ELECTION, THE IRON GIANT, BOYS DON'T CRY, THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY, THE INSIDER, TOY STORY 2, EYES WIDE SHUT and, of course, THE OTHER SISTER.

But I digress. This year ain't all that bad. I could give you five seriously strong nominees for Best Picture. And yes, our top ten lists for 2009 will be exciting. So will our top ten of the decade lists. Yay us.

As for listing our snubs and surprises (which is what I think you mean by inclusions), I'm all for it.

Ready? Set? Go!

INDIE: Okay. Best Picture. The best surprise of the bunch is A SERIOUS MAN, clearly one of the 5 beneficiaries of the expanded category. Let’s run through the others real quick, since the recent development of the Best Picture 10 should be addressed: AN EDUCATION, DISTRICT 9, THE BLIND SIDE, and UP (none of these films’ directors got a nod, which is pretty much a disqualification to win Best Picture, so I’m applying that logic here). Of the five, three are money-makers – the proverbial DARK KNIGHTs that the Academy was hoping for – and the other two are limited release titles. So a 3/2 split – not too pessimistic one way or the other. The expanded slots made way for the crowd-pleasers appealing to a broader Oscar telecast audience, while still leaving room for arty fare that could still really use the box-office boost of a Best Picture nod. Still, I don’t like the expansion. I mean, I haven’t seen THE BLIND SIDE, but really? I’d only see it if James Van Der Beek showed up in the locker room out of nowhere to say, “I don’t….want….your life.”

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen any of the nominated Best Actress performances, so I don’t have as much ammunition as I’d like. My favorite female performance this year was Gwyneth Paltrow in TWO LOVERS. So I guess this isn’t really a snub if no one saw it, but come on – it’s Gwyneth Paltrow! Hollywood loves its starlets, especially when it looks like they’re stretching. Shit, if Angelina Jolie can snag a nomination for acting the shit out of her costume in CHANGELING, surely Gwyneth deserves a nod for this! (Team Gwyneth!) But seriously, the performance is revelatory. Without taking on physical transformations (her hair is still blonde, she’s still movie-star thin), she is absolutely convincing playing against type – working class, not entitled; Brooklyn, not Manhattan. She plays a sad twenty-something caught in a love affair with a wealthier older man, and it’s her mannerisms (too often arbitrarily employed by actors) that clue us into her character’s insecurities. Her smile comes quick and easy, happy at the slightest compliment rather than being stingy with her approval and doling it out in small portions as if it were a rarefied commodity. Her voice sounds like it’s caught in male puberty, cracking at excitement, eager for attention. It’s a complete, inside-and-out performance that you wouldn’t expect from a star. Anyhow, it’s great. And Joaquin Phoenix was quite good too. I would have been happy if he got a nomination. I also really liked Abbie Cornish in BRIGHT STAR. There’s an immediacy to her performance -- hard to do within the usually stolid setting of a period piece without seeming anachronistically contemporary (ahem, Keira Knightley), but she’s great. The cinematography in the film is also deserving – and it’s not just that the countryside is picturesque. It’s ridiculously gorgeous and – like Cornish’s performance – immediate and tactile: necessary for a film about Keats. We needed to feel the imagery that populates his poetry.

I’m fine with the Best Actor nominations, although Clooney should not win. There are holes in his performance, exposing the limits of his range. There was ample opportunity to show the real jerk in his character, but he played it safe – the audience never stops liking him every second of the movie. Look, it’s hard to make a cad so likeable, but it’s fucking Clooney. I felt there were a few scenes he was phoning it in instead of exploring his character. So give it to Jeremy Renner. The dude from A SERIOUS MAN should have gotten Clooney’s spot.

As for Supporting Actress, I can’t believe Amy Adams wasn’t nominated. The snub of the decade, surely. Well, no. I just figured she got nominated last year for sitting there in DOUBT, I thought she was a shoo-in this year. Samantha Morton gives a very good performance in THE MESSENGER though. Her first scene, when she is told her husband has been killed, is a marvel to watch. The way she repeatedly looks off to the side to make sure her son doesn’t see the soldiers on her lawn is devastating. Best performance in the movie. Better than Woody Harrelson, who got a nod. He was good, but he had the unfortunate task of having to say the occasional too writerly line in a movie that doesn’t need them. And so his acting came off a little more polished and back-storied than it should have.

Animated Film – umm….

Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo tiny little fish!
She’s a little fish from the deep blue sea
Ponyo Ponyo Ponyo she’s a little girl!
She’s a little girl with a round tummyyyyyy

Wtf?! Did the Academy not hear me singing that incessantly around our offices? Even you started singing along! That movie’s irresistible.

Directing. Alright, so WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE wasn’t nominated for anything. Anything. There may be more skill involved in Bigelow’s direction of THE HURT LOCKER, but I felt WILD THINGS was the best directed movie of the year. The entire film is a high-wire act. I have never experienced a fantasy world that felt that real, that quotidian. It’s such an original accomplishment that I think it will be a reference point for filmmakers in years to come. It didn’t get a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination either. I don’t understand, especially with an Academy that likes to reward degree of difficulty. Jonze and Eggers extrapolated from what’s essentially a picture book. Their major achievement is that it’s convincingly written from the point of view of a child. The fantasy world is all in Max’s head, and what might seem like plot holes is actually representative of how inchoate Max’s imagination is in spinning the story. When K.W. enters the scene, her motivation for coming back is to get a stick – it’s a substitute for a real reason as Max grapples with the reasoning of the adult world. For a kid’s film, it might be the deepest, most mature film of last year.

And how did it not get nominated for Best Visual Effects? The monsters in WILD THINGS were amazing. I couldn’t tell at first whether it was CGI or animatronics – but of course, animatronics could never achieve the level of nuance and emotion in the facial expressions. I was moved by these visual effects, and instead, a nomination went to DISTRICT 9, whose handheld jittery camera was intended to mask the shoddy CGI. Jesus Christ. HARRY POTTER also made brilliant use of its visual effects. No nod either. Best Digitized Lens Flare goes to STAR TREK.

Adapted Screenplay. So, when they read off the nominees come Oscar night, are they gonna say, “Precious: Based on the novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire – screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher, based on the novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”? I really want them to.

Original Screenplay. Movies today are overwritten. Even underdeveloped movies are overwritten – in the sense that things are over-explained, there’s too much exposition, and dialogue is used as a crutch. So this category is particularly tricky for me (as a grumpy writer) because it tends to reward scripts that have flashy writing and are hence overwritten (JUNO, LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE). HUMPDAY had a brilliant script, if you consider the lines that were ultimately delivered in the movie as the script, but only because it was mostly improvised. There are much funnier lines in that film than in UP IN THE AIR, but the script would never get recognized because the writer had the humility to let the actors contribute. I thought THE HURT LOCKER had a decent script (and I’m not arguing that it shouldn’t get nominated), but there’s that completely unnecessary monologue when the younger soldier yells at Jeremy Renner and explicitly describes his character like a book report. As I stated above, I thought the dialogue in THE MESSENGER was far too writerly from time to time. But it’s those same writerly lines that showcase what a good writer Oren Moverman is. Didn’t the period pop culture references in INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS seem a bit forced and clumsy? Still, I feel like his movies are immune from the overwritten gripe, because his movies are so movie-movie. I hope it wins.

Best Animated Short. Pixar should have submitted the first seven minutes of UP and junked the rest of the movie. You know how Chumbawamba started off their album with “Tubthumping,” and the rest of the songs you listened to while driving back to Tower Records to see if you could return the CD? That’s what UP was like.

Man, CD's -- ho ho, remember those? Welcome to 2010. Technology!

Alright. Those are my initial thoughts. Yours?

STUDIO: I'm going to be realistic here. And honest. I could pull out choices that I haven't seen that other people keep mentioning (even though – let’s be realistic – they probably haven't seen either). I’m referring to the oft-mentioned likes of Julianne Moore in A SINGLE MAN and Christian McKay in ME AND ORSON WELLES. I have not seen these films (nor a slew of others), so please do not take my omissions to necessarily mean that I did not think people were worthy.

So let’s talk about the movies I have seen.

I’ll start off with Best Picture, since that seems like a logical place to start. While I loved THE BLIND SIDE (and I truly did, despite seeing all the heartstring-pulling moments coming from a mile away), do I think it deserved a Best Picture nomination? Not likely…

Then there’s AN EDUCATION. A beautiful movie, no doubt. One of the best acted of the year – Carey Muligan is transplendent, Peter Sarsgaard is great as usual, and Alfred Molina proves once again that he can do anything (if you don’t believe me, go back and watch him in BOOGIE NIGHTS, then SPIDER-MAN 2, then this). The script, by one of my favorite writers, is all crackly with witty repartee and clever bon mots. But the Best Picture of the year? Hardly. I have had this argument with plenty of people, and in the end, it does come down to people agreeing that it’s a fine film anchored by a great performance.

I also have big problems with PRECIOUS, but not enough to pull it from the ten nominated film list for fear of a visit from Oprah.

My big admission is that I have not seen DISTRICT 9 or A SERIOUS MAN, so I will leave them alone and not pick on them. I likewise missed INVICTUS, so I can’t comment on whether it was snubbed.

But if I were to have the power to yank the two (or even three) movies mentioned above and replace them with movies that were my favorites, I would throw WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE into the mix in a heartbeat. Moving, creative, heartbreaking, revelatory and uplifting all at the same time.

I would not, as many have suggested, include THE HANGOVER or CRAZY HEART, despite making me laugh a lot, showing me Zach Galifianakis’ weiner, serenading me with great songs and giving an icon a chance to shine in one of his best performances (I'll let you guess which movie did what).

I would have loved to have seen ADVENTURELAND in the mix, but we all knew that wasn’t going to happen, despite everyone who sees it loving it. It's a movie that really spoke to the younger me – almost as much as UP IN THE AIR spoke to the older me. But since we knew it wasn’t going to make it, I’m thinking STAR TREK would have been cool. Since I loved IRON MAN, I discovered I'm a big fan of taking something that could be popcorn bullshit and making it into something deeper and more resonant. I thought JJ Abrams managed to do it right. I also would have liked the acknowledgement of my friend Damon Lindelof for helping him pull it off.

While I’m in Best Picture-land, I should mention Best Foreign Film… where’s BROKEN EMBRACES, pray tell? Just curious, as it was great. That being said, I’m just happy that Israel got its third nomination in a row. Is it ironic that it will lose to the German flick? I’ll let you be the judge.

Speaking of Best Director (I wasn’t, but this is the best transition I can come up with at the moment), if you want to know what movies would not have received Best Picture nominations if there had still been only five nominees, look no further than the Best Director category. The other five may as well not be in the hunt. Which means that THE BLIND SIDE, DISTRICT 9, AN EDUCATION, A SERIOUS MAN and UP were the also-rans. The funny thing is that none of those movies made me feel like they did deserve a Best Director nomination, so that kinda works out.

The two directors that I would have liked to have seen in on the action are:

1) Spike Jonze for his wonderfully inventive and sensitive direction in WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. This is a movie that could have been silly. Stupid. Ridiculous. Fake. Somehow, Jonze, as he has done several times before, manages to bring together real emotion with a world we should never buy for one of the most emotionally interesting and deep movies of the year. His direction, coupled with that magnificently adapted screenplay (which amazingly did not get any Oscar love), made this movie what it was. Those of you who wrote this off as a kid’s film and skipped it are seriously missing out.

2) Greg Motolla for ADVENTURELAND. Here’s a guy, coming off of SUPERBAD, that could have taken on any number of idiotic studio teen comedies, and chose to tell this personal and realistic story instead. He deserves a nomination just for that, but I may as well throw in that he gets some of the best performances out of a group of people who already give great performances.

The only one that I would push (get it?!) out of there would be Lee Daniels, over-directing at times what I think is essentially an over-praised film.

The acting nominations I was more or less okay with (again, not judging the stuff I didn’t see).

A lot of people are bitching about Meryl Streep getting her 8,012^th nomination (this time for Best Actress) with JULIE AND JULIA, but I will defend her as there are very few actors in the world that can take a person that was loud, high-pitched, exaggerated and slightly over-bearing, and portray them in a way that still made me cry (don’t judge me!). I suppose I would be okay swapping her out for one of three other performances, if anyone had seen them – Penelope Cruz in BROKEN EMBRACES, Catalina Saavedra in THE MAID or Abbie Cornish in BRIGHT STAR. But since no one did see those, Meryl is fine with me.

As for Best Actor, there’s probably nobody on there I’d like to see get removed… but I kinda wish that Sam Rockwell could have at least been recognized for his great performance in MOON. On the other hand, he’s about to make a big splash in IRON MAN 2, so maybe that’s reward enough.

Does it matter who is nominated in the supporting categories, when the front-runners for the awards (Christoph Waltz and Mo’Nique) are so ahead of the pack? But let’s pretend it matters anyway, and at least mention that Woody Harrelson is having a hell of a year. Between ZOMBIELAND and his nomination for THE MESSENGER, he hasn’t had a year this good since he teamed up with Wesley Snipes. I’m happy for him and all, but in that film, I felt that Samantha Morton’s performance was stronger, more visceral, more real. The concept that she was passed over in order to give Penelope Cruz a nomination for the wrong film is pretty gross. I also would have been happy to hand that nomination to Melanie Laurent for her nuanced work in INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. Say what you will, non-believers, about Tarantino’s pulpy writing and flashy direction (and I happen to like both more often than not), the man can direct the hell out of some actors. He even managed to get an almost-Oscar-worthy performance out of Diane “NATIONAL TREASURE” Kruger. Kudos, sir.

Screenplay time! I’ve already mentioned how ridiculous it is that Spike Jonze and David Eggers weren’t nominated for Best Adapted for WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. Calling something like DISTRICT 9 an adaptation is always weird to me when it is literally a longer version of a short made by the same guy. Again, I didn’t see it, so I can’t judge the quality overall, but it’s kind of like if I started writing this blog, fell asleep, then finished it when I woke up… and then claimed the finished product is adapted from my earlier unfinished blog. How about a new category for Best Expanded Screenplay, where movies like NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, DISTRICT 9 and BOTTLE ROCKET can duke it out? That way, the category for screenplays that took a modicum of skill to actually adapt wouldn’t get diluted down. Not to beat a dead horse, but imagine the skill and effort that went into adapting WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. The book (if you can call it that) was like six pages long and consisted mostly of Maurice Sendak’s awesome illustrations. To turn that into a feature-length movie, much less the movie it became, is a true adaptation. Ditto Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach for the not-nominated FANTASTIC MR. FOX. In fact, of the films nominated, only one (that I saw – I missed IN THE LOOP) really displayed a true and complete adaptation, and that was Sheldon Turner and Jason Reitman’s screenplay for UP IN THE AIR. In the book, the tone is whiny and annoying, the supporting characters are nearly non-existent, and the main character suffers from - at best - memory loss and - at worst - psychosis. To take that and make it into the snappy, relevant and insightful film it became is a real adaptation. And yes, I’ll flog this horse one more time and mention that while UP IN THE AIR is the best of the bunch, it’s still not quite on par with WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, which should win (yes, I said win, like Bill Murray in RUSHMORE, who also wasn’t nominated).

On an unrelated note, over in the Original Screenplay category, a friend of mine wrote (500) DAYS OF SUMMER, so I want to say it should be nominated, but I think we all know that he will win an Oscar later in life, so I’m good moving on. At least AVATAR didn't get a screenplay nomination.

I don’t remember who wrote that the makers of CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS will never forget the title THE SECRET OF KELLS because it’s the movie that stole their Best Animated Film slot. Um… what? Someone thought that CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS deserved a nomination? That’s ridiculous. That person should have his or her ability to write things out loud on the Internet where children can see them revoked. So what were the movies I would have liked to have seen get recognition in this category? There were three that were ignored, in my opinion.

You convinced me a long time ago to watch PONYO, and I’ve been sold since then. How many times did we sing “Round Tummy” with big smiles on our faces? Aw, that little fish girl thingy. For those of you who haven’t seen it, do – worthwhile. Ditto MARY AND MAX, a little seen but really great animated flick. Saw it at Sundance last year, and it stuck with me ever since – great voice acting from Philip Seymour Hoffman and Toni Colette, a wonderful true story and luscious (I can’t think of another word for it) animation.

I also would like to give a shout-out to MONSTERS VS. ALIENS. Yes, I know it’s not popular, and I know that most people thought it stunk, but I enjoyed the hell out of it, and want to at least give a salute in its direction. The fact that I can even think of one, much less three animated movies to add to the existing list speaks to what a good year for animation it was, which makes me happy. I love me some animated movies.

I only saw two of the films nominated for Best Documentary, but I was just curious where THIS IS IT and CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY are. I’m sure there are technical reasons why these two were left out, but I just don’t care enough to go find out what they are.

I suppose that I shouldn’t mention the songs that aren’t nominated if I haven’t seen the film that they were in, but despite having skipped BROTHERS and EVERYBODY’S FINE, I’ve heard their respective songs (U2's “Winter” and Paul McCartney's “I Want To Come Home”), and they both seem pretty great to me. Mostly though, I am just shocked that the Academy was able with a straight face to ignore Karen O and the Kids’ “All Is Love” from WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE in lieu of anything from NINE. Shame on you. At least AVATAR didn't get a nomination for Leona Lewis’ “I See You” or I'd have to bust a cap up in this bitch.

Likewise, many many scores were ignored this year. Some of them just don’t make any sense. James Horner’s over-bearing and incessantly bombarding score for AVATAR was the worst part of the movie. For SHERLOCK HOLMES, Hans Zimmer just did the same thing he always does, but with more bells and whistles... literally. It’s like he got a new keyboard that plays sound effects and just went to town. Where is Marvin Hamlisch for THE INFORMANT!? Carter Burwell for THE BLIND SIDE? Karen O (with Carter Burwell again) for WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE? Most egregiously, where is a nomination for T-Bone Burnett and Stephen Bruton for CRAZY HEART? That movie rests on the music so much, they made a composer a producer! What does that tell you?

[So… here’s a quick update… I decided to go trolling online to see if anyone else agreed that these were some crazy omissions, and it turns out that a bunch of the scores I mentioned above (WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, CRAZY HEART and THE BLIND SIDE, along with FUNNY PEOPLE, BRUNO and THE LOVELY BONES) were disqualified or deemed ineligible. Here’s their language as to why: “[S]cores diluted by the use of tracked themes or other preexisting music, diminished in impact by the predominant use of songs, or assembled from the music of more than one composer shall not be eligible.” In other words, the fact that WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE and CRAZY HEART used songs as well as a score earned them slots at the “fuck you” table. Gotta love the Academy.]

Let’s skip over a few. We know that Best Art Direction goes to the most elaborate fantasy flick (PAN’S LABYRINTH much?), Best Costume Design goes to the most detailed period piece (yay AGE OF INNOCENCE), Best Editing goes to the movie with the most editing (BLACK HAWK DOWN over MEMENTO) and Best Sound and Sound Editing go to the loudest films (PEARL HARBOR and U-571 won Academy Awards, for the love of crap).

So, with that, let’s jump over to my last category – Best Visual Effects. AVATAR is the only film in this category that matters, but let’s discuss the fact that there are only three nominees. According to the rules, if I understand them correctly, they could add two more flicks to the mix, though they traditionally don’t. If they had two additional slots available to them, how do you ignore 2012 or WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE? 2012 has only crazy special effects going for it. The movie wasn’t directed, acted, written, DP’d, mixed or anything else – it was effected. How do you ignore that? Likewise, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE’s monsters. You’d be hard-pressed to find a movie that melds physical effects with CGI effects better than this one, and just try to find creatures that should, by all rights, be ridiculous and silly looking, and instead make you cry. I just realized how many times I mention the recurring theme of me crying in movies. Yikes.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t remove any nominees from this category – I would supplement. The effects in STAR TREK worked for me (with the exception of the incessant fake lens flares to prove to the audience that what we’re seeing is real despite the fact that it isn’t). And even though I didn’t see DISTRICT 9, I’ve seen enough to give Neill Blomkamp credit for being the anti-Stephen Sommers, using hand-held shaky-cam tricks to mask weak effects, making them that much more effective and realistic-looking. And for doing it all on a budget. But come on – if the nominees were AVATAR, STAR TREK, DISTRICT 9, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE and 2012, would it make AVATAR win any less? No. But it would highlight some great accomplishments by people who surely deserve the recognition and the paycheck bump.

Oh, and Best Abs goes to that guy from NEW MOON.

And that’s my brain dump for the day. What do you think? We more or less on the same page?

INDIE: Huh. You do cry a lot. It’s weird. Let’s not ever see movies together. We’re gay enough as it is. Oh, btw, do you want me to pick you up when we see VALENTINE’S DAY, or should we meet at the theatre? I’m just asking because it was hard recognizing you last time in that trench coat when we met up for HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

You also wrote a rant about being depressed over the Golden Globes. Do you need to speak with somebody about this? It’s okay to say yes. It’s not okay to hurt inside. It’s also not okay to pay attention to the Golden Globes.

So, we are on the same page about WTWTA. Also unexpectedly about Samantha Morton and Abbie Cornish. I applaud you for watching non-blockbusters, btw. You surprise me every day. I will pick you up for VALENTINE’S DAY.

I also loved ADVENTURELAND. I’m not really sure if any one element deserves to be singled out among the five best of anything. It’s a classic example of a film being more than the sum of its parts. That being said, I loved the cinematography. It looked like it was filmed on dated film stock. Perfect for a movie wrapped in nostalgia.

And yeah, weird about DISTRICT 9 being considered an adaptation. You know what was weirder? BEFORE SUNSET being nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay because it had characters from BEFORE SUNRISE – you know, as sequels usually do. Explain that to me. Disagree about your point regarding the DISTRICT 9 Viz f/x nomination. They should reward the director for cleverly masking the effects based on what you said, not the f/x team.

MARY AND MAX looks awesome.

Superbowl XLIV

2010-02-03T22:51:00.000-08:00

BRIAN: Hey, who do you got in the Superbowl?... No?... You there?

MCFILMERSTEIN: Is that a movie? The sequel to CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS about the dish they catch all the raining cereal in? I'm confused...

The State of the Industry (and how freaking sad it is)

2010-01-28T03:50:00.000-08:00

MCFILMERSTEIN: So I’m depressed. Hollywood big-budget movies are getting worse. AVATAR just won Best Picture at the Golden Globes. Well, not just. Just in my bedroom, as I DVR’d the Globes and have been watching them mostly on fast forward. Now, at 9:02 AM, AVATAR was called on by Julia Roberts.

Don't get me wrong. It's in my top 100 of the decade, but it's still indicative of what is bothering me. Special effects do not constitute a script! I know you partially disagree with me, and think the whole thing works brilliantly or whatever, but ask yourself this: Are you excited about the technology/graphics/visuals/effects, like the rest of the people in the world (whether they realize it or not)? Or are you excited about the shitty shitty script and laughable dialogue? Best Picture? Of the year? Are they kidding? Did they see THE HURT LOCKER? INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS? UP IN THE AIR? Even movies that weren’t nominated deserved Best Picture more than AVATAR. UP deserved it more. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE deserved it more. I haven’t seen DISTRICT 9 yet, but from what I hear, even it deserved it more.

And during the awards ceremony, they showed a commercial for EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES. In my lifetime, I have met a lot of celebrities (yes, I know that sounds like a name drop – screw you), but I have gotten excited about only three of them. Albert Brooks (who I literally ran past Julia Roberts to say hi to), Jack Lemmon (I crashed the premiere of GRUMPIER OLD MEN by climbing over a fence and jumping off a roof just to shake his hand – later got hauled away by security and it was worth it) and Harrison Ford. He’s freaking Han Solo and Indiana Jones? How does that happen? Both? Awesome.

So when I say that EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES looks like a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, and a bad one at that, you know it pains me to say it. And that’s the first flick from the new big-budget gonna-play-with-the-big-boys CBS Films, which I’ve been extremely excited about since they announced it Moonves was putting it together. This makes me sad.

Why, if they have the money to afford Ford, who is notorious for not reducing his fee for anyone, and Brendan Fraser, who can’t be super cheap after all the MUMMYs and JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH and all that, plus the rights to the book it’s based on, plus the articles that were written about it, plus everything else that goes into making a big budget flick like this one, could they not make a good movie? Now, admittedly, I have not seen the actual movie yet, but as I’ve said before, a commercial is a collection of thirty seconds of the best moments from a two hour movie. If this is the best commercial they could come up with, it does not bode well.

But I’m beating up on EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES when it doesn’t fully deserve the brunt of my rage and sadness. That belongs to all the big budget bullshit that’s been shat out into the Hollywood pipeline in the last couple of years (and seems to be happening more and more often).

Over the Christmas break, I decided to watch a bunch of movies using On Demand. In Hollywood's defense, they didn’t put all the recent movies into the system, so I can’t include movies like ZOMBIELAND or WHIP IT! in the bunch, which I haven’t seen and understand are great. Here’s what I did watch:

GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA
THE MUMMY 3: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR
BODY OF LIES
X:MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE
FAST & FURIOUS
KNOWING
FIGHTING
DUPLICITY
SURVIVING CHRISTMAS
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
THE UGLY TRUTH
BANGKOK DANGEROUS
THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM

Instead of breaking down or commenting on them one at a time, I’m just going to say that there wasn't a single movie in the bunch that was worth the price I paid to see it. And a good number of them were free.

Collectively, these flicks represent almost $3 billion worldwide in ticket sales alone!

They star some of our biggest movie stars. Check out this list: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Brendan Fraser, Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Vin Diesel, Nicolas Cage, Terrence Howard, Ben Affleck, James Gandolfini, Christina Applegate, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Shia Lebouf, Megan Fox, Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Jackie Chan, Jet Li... just to name a few!

Some successful directors, too - two Academy Award winners and one nominee, one Cannes filmmaker, two Sundance filmmakers (one that won Best Director), one Slamdance winner, two Toronto Film Festival winners, the director of THE LION KING... and Michael fucking Bay.

And not a single film in the bunch is worth a shit.

As a long-time development executive, I just don't understand what the people behind these movies were doing. The whole concept of development is to prevent movies that suck ass from getting made.

Where were the producers on these flicks? The creative executives? The directors of development? The VPs? Anyone? And let's pretend like the scripts to these shit sandwiches were great. What about the poor casting choices? The bad continuity? The wrong directors being put on the wrong projects? The writers that keep getting hired (often for ridiculous money) despite the fact that they consistently churn out worthless screenplays?

Is it any wonder that I'm depressed?

I know most of the above-mentioned flicks opened at number one. Some even were huge hits (TRANSFORMERS 2 and THE UGLY TRUTH, for instance, were on pretty much everyone's "worst of the year" lists, but made crazy money anyway). I guess my question is this: how do studios get away with lazily relying on a brand or on star power while ignoring things like characters, motivation, plot and dialogue? And why do we as audience members let them?

I wish I could rally the whole world to stand up to shitty movies. But that would require not going, and we're getting less and less good movie options these days.

I wish I could convince the studio executives to stop greenlighting movies that have potential and then rushing them into production before they are ready. But that would require them to stop making a profit on the garbage they release.

I wish I could convince good directors to wait for good projects instead of just taking paycheck gigs, or letting the studios force them to release projects that are nowhere near ready. But the fact that they are called "paycheck gigs" should explain why directors keep doing it anyway.

I wish I could get us, the audience, to stop believing the hype when someone tells us that a movie is a hit. WOLVERINE, for instance, made $375 million worldwide. They tell us that we should be impressed. Let's forget for a moment how much they spent to get the movie made. Let's even forget that it grossed less than MUMMY 3 that year. Let's instead focus on the fact that the other two similarly produced superhero movies that came out right around the same time made $572 million and $1 billion worldwide. Similarly produced because they got a strong indie director to helm and unconventional actors to star. So when we look at the measly $375 WOLVERINE made compared to what it could have made, we suddenly see it for the massive stink bomb that it is.

And the thing that pisses me off is that it didn't need to be one. It's as if they remembered to hire good people to direct and act, and completely forgot to develop a proper script with the writers.

That's not to say they didn't hire a good writer. David Benioff, who wrote 25TH HOUR, can be a great writer. But he also wrote TROY, if you get my drift. They also hired Skip Woods, who wrote... um... SWORDFISH... and... uh... HITMAN... and... ahem... fuck it. 'Nuff said. I don't care how talented an actor is, or how brilliant a director is - without a script, they are just making a shitty movie. At least on IRON MAN, they realized they had a shitty script and threw it out when they realized it wasn't working.

If we as an audience demand quality, the studios will no longer be able to pass off half-assed attempts at big budget travesties (because they know they won't get away with it) and instead give us the kick ass movies that we deserve.

After all, we're paying to be entertained. Let's make sure they actually go out of their way to entertain us.

UP IN THE AIR reviews

2010-01-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

MCFILMERSTEIN: Just saw UP IN THE AIR at the Telluride Film Festival and I loved it. Thought it was amazing. Total shoo-in for a Best Picture nom. Maybe even a win, depending on what comes out between now and the end of the year. Can't wait for you to see it so we can discuss!

BRIAN: I finally saw UP IN THE AIR. I agree with you -- it's a lock for Best Picture!

It will join the ranks of other serious better-than-average crowd pleasers to take the prize!

DRIVING MISS DAISY, A BEAUTIFUL MIND, CHICAGO...........UP IN THE AIR. I hope Jason Reitman wins best director, just so he can beat out Martin Scorsese for RAGING BULL, Robert Altman for NASHVILLE, and Spike Lee for DO THE RIGHT THING.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I couldn't disagree with you more! I'm going to pull out the tried and true cliche and say that you were underwhelmed because you saw it after all the hype. After all the unattainable expectations. I was lucky enough to see it with zero expectations at the film festival in Telluride, and was blown away by it. I thought it looked into my soul in the same way that HIGH FIDELITY did ten years ago. Clooney's performance is among his best, and we're talking about a guy with some seriously good performances.

Is it the best directed film of the year? No. I would say that honor goes to THE HURT LOCKER. Is it the most innovative? No - that's AVATAR. Is it the movie that moved me the most emotionally? Also no - that has to be UP. But is it my favorite overall film of the year? Yes. It totally is.

And to compare Reitman winning to Redford winning is ridiculous. Redford is always competent, but mostly boring, and everyone knows that RAGING BULL was the better directed film. With Reitman, we're talking about a major new voice in cinema. Not that I'm saying he should win best director, but his THANK YOU FOR SMOKING and JUNO are already classics, in their own way, and this one trumps them both. I have a feeling that he's just going to get better from here, too.

BRIAN: Because I saw it after the hype? That's a coversation killer -- you know that, right? An argument like that is undebatable, a hanging what-if balloon that can never be popped. What if Gwyneth Paltrow missed the sliding doors of the subway train? Would she be a blonde or a brunette? These are the mysteries that can never be solved, so don't pull that shit on me. Does it sound like I'm jealous that I don't attend Telluride? Maybe!

Okay. That felt nice. I think Reitman will have a long career. I think he's a good director and will possibly grow into a very good one. At the moment though, he's a bit too calculated for my taste. Much like how an actor should never show his method, his directing sometimes calls attention to itself, not necessarily in an intentional flashy way (he's not Guy Ritchie), but due to either its clumsiness or obviousness. Take the big moment when Danny McBride walks over to his bride-to-be to reconcile with her. For the first and only time, the camera is noticeably handheld. That seemed way too premeditated to me -- hey, let's get the immediacy of verite for this emotional punch of a moment and go handheld! As a viewer, I got the immediacy of my middle finger growing erect at the screen. That made no sense. Another example: the quick cuts of Clooney's suitcase packing and wheel swivels. Really, I think it's fine. Even if he repeated this bit a couple times too many. While I don't technically have a problem with it -- because it is a good way of showing the muscle memory, fast-paced routinization and compartmentalization of his life -- it does support my point about his directing being too obvious. My thought upon seeing it? Wow, that's a good way of showing the muscle memory, fast-paced routinization and compartmentalization of his life! (This is the kind of thing Academy voters love, by the way. Noticeable directing. Convincing people how smart you are. This is why the prize for Best Editing usually goes to the film with Most Editing.)

Additionally, for a portrait of this fast-paced, no-time-for-reflection lifestyle Clooney leads, the movie was kinda slow in some parts. Visually, this portrait is well done -- I loved the gloss and superficial glean of the zero depth-of-field cinematography. Like it was out of a commercial. The people walking by are blurs, not faces. I thought that was right. But the rhythm of a lot of the dialogue scenes seemed to drag. He allows too much breathing room in between lines, giving the viewer time to digest the significance of each too-precise line, which goes against the pace the film was trying to portray. Actually, the rhythm in most dialogue scenes felt unnatural, period. Stilted. I think his dialogue is so precise and functional that it doesn't allow his actors to play with it (minus the Vera Farmiga scenes, of course -- chemistry trumps bad writing). I don't equate overlapping dialogue with naturalism, but dear Jr. Reitman, please watch some more Robert Altman or older Woody Allen and take some notes!

So look, Reitman is a smart director, no doubt. But I think he's in the adolescence of his career. Showing major promise, but still growing into his body. Speaking of body, Vera Farmiga's body double was smoking. Man, oh man, she deserves the Oscar for best body double. I hear they've expanded the nominations from 5 to 10 this year. Hopefully then, the Academy will recognize Megan Fox's acting as the wonderful body double art that it is.

MCFILMERSTEIN: While I don't disagree that saying you saw it after the hype is a conversation killer, I still can't help but imagine what your reaction to the movie would have been if you had watched it with me in Telluride. Oh, man, I mentioned Telluride again. Jealous? You should be. It's awesome. But I digress.

Speaking of digressing, I have to give you full props for your reference to SLIDING DOORS, a movie that I probably shouldn't love as much as I do. But I dooooooooooooo.

Reitman will have a long career, mostly because he deserves to. Okay, he's not Altman yet, but really... who is? His movies, which started out strong with THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, have only gotten stronger. Whether you're a fan of JUNO or not, you have to recognize that taking Diablo Cody's self-obsessed pop-culture minefield of a script and turning it into a heartfelt and moving movie takes real skill. And I think he topped himself with UP IN THE AIR. If this is how good he is at the beginning of his career, imagine what he'll be able to accomplish in a few years!

As for your criticism, might I propose that sometimes being calculated is not a bad thing? I don't mean the GARDEN STATE version of calculated, in which shots that "look neat" are inserted into a movie simply for the sake of "being neat" whether it fits the scene or not. I do mean it in the subtle "things are out of focus even though George Clooney is in focus because life is out of focus to the character George Clooney plays" kind of shots. And if you don't like that, then suck it, because you're trying too hard to dislike the guy's direction. Yes, that's right - my level of discourse has been reduced to "suck it" and I think it may be the perfect response to your post.

What would you propose anyway? That Reitman feel the need to convey immediacy and not follow his heart because a few over-critical film students (and you) will think it's too obvious? By the way, I don't think it was an obvious choice. There were no heartfelt close-ups or bullshit musical cues - it was simply the rawest way to show a man breaking down his walls (the very thing that Clooney was unable to do) and surrender to love. To feel. I'm sorry this wasn't a Dogme or Mumblecore film where that would have been conveyed through the use of dead air and poor lighting, but it delivered for me. As the camera (nearly imperceptibly) followed Danny McBride as he slowly approached his bride-to-be, I did feel immediacy. I did feel like I was there in person, watching him succumb. I did give a shit. Maybe I'm just less cynical than you. Wow, this is just one personal attack after another. Why do you make me do this? I only do this because I love you!

Furthermore, I would be curious to know how many people watched the scenes in which Clooney packs his suitcase and felt like, "Oh man, this is such an obvious way of showing me how compartmentalized his life is! I mean, the way that wheel swiveling really hits me over the head with the notion of fast-paced routinization! The way he zips up his bag is obviously all about muscle memory!" I'd say three. Including you. Perhaps... just perhaps... Reitman made a movie in which people subconsciously feel those things (you know, when they are not too busy over-analyzing everything) and it improved their movie-going experience and the emotional connection they had with what they were watching. Maybe. It certainly did for me.

Last, but not least, I have to address your mention of the movie dragging at times. I personally never felt it drag, but there were certainly a few moments that were slower than others. And I think that the "slower" parts of the movie are actually a deliberate representation of the moral at the end of this particular fable. When you rush rush rush, assuming that you have no time for anything, you may always move fast, but the rest of the world moves at its own pace... slower. Clooney runs around, skipping over people in line, always having the perfect polished piece of dialogue ready for any situation (yes, I do think that was a deliberate choice as well), and yet he connects with no one. Because he's not actually rushing. He's going nowhere fast. It's like when you are waiting for something to print on a slow printer and you're in a hurry - you jump up and down and check your watch and rant and rave and pace... and the printer is still going at the same old speed, despite all your antics. In this movie, Clooney is the one bouncing around like the Energizer Bunny, but the drag we feel in watching him go through life is the same drag he would feel if he stopped for a moment and was honest with himself. It is precisely why the scenes with Farmiga feel so good - it's not just chemistry, it's that he is allowing himself to live without borders for once, and the exhilaration that he feels is the same as the exhilaration that we feel. As a matter of fact, you feeling like parts of the movie dragged and that the Vera scenes were great leads me to believe that Reitman put you exactly where he wanted you.

Yes, maybe part of me is reacting to you criticizing a film I really loved and connected to. Also, yes, I'm sure part of me agrees with you, but can't admit it, and the above is a touch of me being a devil's advocate. But there are two things that I simply can't argue with:

1) The Academy gives the prize for Best Editing to the film with Most Editing

2) Vera Farmiga's body double deserves to take home the Oscar for Best Supporting of an Actress

Damn it... sometimes, even you make sense.

BRIAN: Alright. You know a discussion is about to go off the deep end when it becomes more about the arguments themselves than the topic at hand. And that’s what I’m about to do. Cuz that’s what I was born to do.

Saying that I’m over-critical is a dead-end. It’s a blanket response for anything, and there’s no borderline in how far one can push that argument. Watch this: Reitman’s methods are a bit too visible, but come on, I’m being too critical here. CRASH didn’t make me less of a racist, but really, I’m being too critical– it’s only supposed to make me a better person in general. It’s not that the facial hair device on LOST letting viewers know that it’s a flashback/flashforward is hilariously employed, it’s that I’m looking too hard at that damn spearmint mustache glue. See? I could go on and on. And I sort of want to…. Look, Ma, my life isn't an endless series of disappointments, I just think you’re being too critical. Plus, Fuck You, man – what’s the point of this blog but to rant and rave from an elitist pedestal in the blog-determined voice of snark? I’m not supposed to watch this movie from the point of view of the average viewer, and neither are you, so don’t talk about the movie Reitman made for Middle America – you’d be turning him into a condescending asshole if you did. And shit, you’re like best friends with him or something, right? You were best man at his wedding? Or godfather to his unborn children? I don’t know, I can’t keep track of your Hollywood friends.

And it’s not that I’m actively over-analyzing Reitman’s methods, either. All directors are calculating, even the most improvisational. But I don’t think any director (not working on a Brechtian project) wants you to be aware of their calculation during the movie – that would take the viewer out of the experience. And that’s what happened a few times watching UP IN THE AIR. You write that Reitman is “follow[ing] his heart” in that Danny McBride scene. Just the opposite. It seemed to me like he was pulling from a director's bag of tricks, not doing something heartfelt or organic. Again, if the technique calls attention to itself (intentional or not), it fails the acid test for me.

You also keep returning to the fact that Reitman is in the early stages of his career. I’m sure he appreciates your apologizing for him. I’m with you. I can't wait for him to become a great director. I hope he remakes UP IN THE AIR when he does.

Lastly, we haven’t even touched on Clooney’s buzzed-about performance. Let’s save that discussion for our Oscar round-up, but I’ll give you all (…both?) a preview in saying that his performance epitomized what I felt about the movie: it was good, but played it safe.

FROM PARIS WITH LOVE trailer reviews

2010-01-05T16:49:00.000-08:00

MCFILMERSTEIN: Just saw the trailer for FROM PARIS WITH LOVE. Actually, saw three of them - the original, the red band and the new.

Let me start by saying that I love THE TRANSPORTER movies, and I was kind of in love with TAKEN. To this day, when I throw a punch in my boxing class, I pretend the heavy bag is an Albanian bad guy. Jack Bauer can learn from Liam Neeson's retired agent.

Anyway, I digress. This looks pretty bad. I sometimes like Travolta, I often like Rhys-Meyers, I pretty much always like Luc Besson, I'm a big fan of Adi Hasak, and so far Pierre Morel hasn't given me any reason to dislike his work. All that being said, I still think this looks pretty bad.

Let's give them props for having the balls to screw with a classic Bond title and to use Sinatra's "This Town" (which did not refer to Paris). Beyond that, what is this mess? A trailer is made up of the best parts of a movie. That means that you, as a trailer creator, have two hours worth of material, and all you have to do is find a minute or two of usable stuff. We've seen some of the worst movies of all time have amazing trailers, and that is precisely because it ain't that hard to find 90 seconds of awesome out of 6,500.

In this trailer, the cuts are so fast, you can't tell what's going on. They have clearly jammed in every explosion in the entire film to make sure that audiences know "This is exciting! Look at all the explosions!" And, most egregious, they pull that old lame trick of hiding the swear word behind cool action, but they do it clumsily. "Wasn't that some impressive..." BOOM! See? Instead of him saying "shit," a car blew up. That just goes to show you that not only are there explosions in this movie, there are funny lines and curses, too! Let's all go opening night!

I, for one, will need to be convinced. All that being said, I am going to try to keep an open mind about the flick, considering all the people involved that usually make good movies. I'm just hoping that this trailer does not reflect the movie. After all, it's a fine line between stupid awesome and just plain stupid.

BRIAN: Is Natalie Portman in it? She was good in THE PROFESSIONAL. Man, she was only 12 in that film and even then I wanted to BOOM!! *car explosion*

AVATAR reviews

2010-01-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

MCFILMERSTEIN: Okay. So. AVATAR. Here's my quick review: The characters were cliched, the story has been done to death, the running time was long, the dialogue was ridiculous, the music was overbearing and... I loved every minute of it! This is not a movie about characters, or plot, or anything approaching a story. This is a movie about special effects, and in that regard, it succeeded in spades. Years from now, when this technology is more commonplace, this movie will be remembered for being a pioneer, but will not be one that people watch religiously like STAR WARS. STAR WARS, for what it's worth, has some dated special effects and some fairly bad acting, but the story is so cool and the characters are so strong and the writing is so good, that decades later, it is still just as beloved as it was when it was first released. AVATAR does not have that. I even laughed out loud at a lot of what was being said because it was so stupid. Just the name Unobtainium alone almost made me wet myself. Also, it's not good when you are looking forward to watching main characters die. Right, Michelle Rodriguez? What did you think of it?

BRIAN: Yeah, Michelle Rodriguez was horrible, but the irony is she was born to be in a James Cameron movie. She's the lovechild of Linda Hamilton and Sigourney Weaver. I can't wait to see her as Jodie Foster's son/daughter in PANIC ROOM 2. Still, really good movie-going experience. I haven't been transported like that since THE NEW WORLD (you hate me) or LOTR. And for me, the reason why AVATAR wasn't completely enveloping was the music. STAR WARS, of course, has one of the great scores ever, but I felt there were no melodies in AVATAR. Just incidental music. And bombastic incidental music at that. Just bad and assaulting. And this is James Horner! The master at composing manipulative, crescendo-riffic themes. I'm more pissed off than Celine Dion about his failure to write one pretty melody a hack lyricist could plug vague words into and make an Oscar-winning song. Hang on, let me try it:

Heeeere, Noooooow, a moment of bliss!
For tomorrow the Earth shall not know this...

Wouldn't that fucking rock with a James Horner melody wrapped around it? Now imagine that song with dialogue from the movie during the instrumental bridges! "I see you..." That line, by the way, is my favorite part. James Cameron was so pleased with himself when he wrote that scene in TITANIC that this was like an homage to himself. If you don't know which scene, and I'm sure you do remember, I'd like to describe it for you. Rose is flipping through Jack's charcoal drawing sketch book, realizing that she is in the midst of a great artist (the charcoal sybolizes both his impoverished social status, as well as that burning feeling in her loins).

Rose: You have a gift, Jack. You do. You see people.
Jack: I see you....................

................now let's go do it in a car. Iceberg!! CRASH!! Social commentary on the rich and the poor! Our hearts will go on. Good movie. Watching AVATAR though, I felt my hawkish opinions about Iraq completely dissuaded. I think the war was a mistake now. All thanks to James Cameron. What have we done, America? WHAT HAVE WE DONE?

SHERLOCK HOLMES reviews

2010-01-04T00:40:00.000-08:00

MCFILMERSTEIN: Let's talk SHERLOCK HOLMES. Want me to start?

BRIAN: I have nothing to say about SHERLOCK, other than I can't wait to see Jackie Chan as Moriarty in the sequel.

MCFILMERSTEIN: I just don't quite recall Sherlock being a ninja or part of a gay couple with Watson. I also don't recall the books ever putting me to sleep. But I do recall Guy Ritchie overcompensating like crazy. Also, and maybe I'm wrong, didn't Sherlock sometimes have an actual mystery to solve? Oh well. At least Jude Law was finally cast perfectly for the first time since RIPLEY.

BRIAN: I could buy Sherlock as a ninja. Well, not really, but for what it is (and I believe the story goes like this: Joel Silver wanted to buy another house, so he combined two things that could make this happen -- a franchise and some action scenes. And bam! The LEGEND of Joel Silver. That's why he's a genius. Fuck you, that's his name!), it was sort of believable that Sherlock would develop his karate skills to go along with his intellect. If you'll remember from the stories, his major ailment was boredom with the everydayness of life (thus, his hilarious coke habit), so it makes sense for him to isolate himself with activities and experiments and boxing for the sport of it (that scene is when it clicked for me). Plus, his P.E. teacher probably told him that exercise gets the juices flowing and translates into brain power. Thanks, Mr. Brown!

MCFILMERSTEIN: Cut to: Interior - Silver Pictures Offices - Day

"Hey! You know what name people recognize? Sherlock Holmes!"

"But boss, with CSI and House on TV, who's going to care about yet another guy that is really observant?"

"Good point. Okay, here's what we're going to do. We'll keep the name, get rid of everything that is actually related in any way shape or form to the character, and make him into Neo from THE MATRIX. After all, that's my biggest hit yet!"

"Won't people be mad if we screw up a classic character like Sherlock Holmes?"

"Hmmm, you might be right. Okay, add Watson into the mix, but make the two of them bicker like the characters from KISS KISS BANG BANG, even though that is not at all how they interacted with one another in the stories. That should help. Oh, and make Holmes an alcoholic."

"But boss, Holmes wasn't an alcoholic - he was a cocaine and morphine addict!"

"That's far too much for an audience to handle! Liquor is plenty. Plus, it's funnier than drug addiction. They'll get the point. Anything we're leaving out?"

"A love interest?"

"True! Okay, there's one line from one of the original stories in which a girl is mentioned. Use her!"

"Sweet! We can miscast a big name actress to draw in the weepy hearts that loved THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE!"

"Done and done! Now, have Guy Ritchie direct and we're golden!"

"Whoa whoa whoa... when Bruckheimer made PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, using the same basic logic as you're using now, he at least had the good sense to get Gore Verbinski to direct. Why would we put this potentially huge franchise in the hands of a filmmaker that has made only one good movie over ten years ago?"

"Because he has no career right now, he owes me because I let him make ROCKnROLLA, and I can control him!"

"That's a convincing argument, but I'm still not convinced. At least PIRATES had Johnny Depp."

"So we'll get that other respected actor that recently went mainstream, Robert Downey, Jr.!"

"Oh, come on... he'll never agree to do this movie. He's got self-respect, after all."

"He will when my head of production, who also happens to be his wife, asks him to!"

"Brilliant!"

And... cut.